notwoxer (An RB Amero Blog)

Oh I weep, Drip, drip, drip... The world walks by, Oblivious as if I was a mere fly, Pesky and a nuisance, Despite knowledge that God made me... No I cry not for attention thee... I cry to speak to the soul. Speak to the soul through God they whisper? I know... But tears cleanses my soul, After which words I collate, For God to listen and contemplate. Far and wide I see the world, Though none offer me, I bid the time imposed, For as nature dictates, What is here will be nowhere in time. I listen well, To God; he speaks well. Of heaven and hell, Can't you tell, in which thy to dwell?

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN FREESPACE IN THE SUN Right: The magnificent PETRONAS Twin Towers: Can our service levels reach high? My first piece on Freespace, back in the middle of 2006, talked about customer service, or the lack of it in Malaysia. It is now Visit Malaysia Year 2007, and I sure hope that people in the service industry have taken appropriate measures to up their service levels. But I’m not going to preach the importance of the service quality. Instead, I will detail two separate incidents; one that happened in front of me, and the other I overheard at a Starbucks near my place of work. In my piece True Towering Malaysians on Freespace last month, I told the story of the dinner honouring Malaysia’s best humanitarians. On that same night, I witnessed a waiter spilling coffee on a foreign guest, just one table away from the Prime Minister. I was at the rostrum, and from about 15 metres I watched how the offending waiter kept wiping the spilled coffee off the guest’s jack...

There is certainty, thus good, in death, that in the death of a life, those left behind all eventually have to move forward to live their lives; in the death of a business deal new ones have to forged for sustenance; in the death of a relationship both parties move on after a period of pain & despair. Mankind is built to seek happiness - the pursuit of pleasure & the avoidance of pain - and thus everything will take the course nature intended. Pain matures you, although at times it may seem improbable. But the truth is, tribulations that doesn't kill you will make you a better person. Those that kill you brings you to death, which as I have explained, is good. Peace. - RB Amero, February 2007 My fiancee's father - hence my future father-in-law - passed away suddenly on the evening of February the 8th, 2007. The passing of Mohd Nasir bin Mohd Khalid at the age of 59 was sudden, as most deaths are in my own experience. Although I first considered a relationship with his ...

SUNSETS... HOPE FOR SUNRISE So here I go trying to revive my blog again... fingers crossed...

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN FREESPACE IN THE SUN Who wants to be a millionaire? (Err... do I look like a millionaire here?) Ahh, I see about 25 million hands up here, so I tell you now the story of how I became a millionaire, a few times over at that. The first rule of becoming a millionaire is believing that you can indeed be a millionaire; that it is not the domain of those with millionaire lineage or with a self-owned business. After all, I have lived and read enough to see millionaire families ending up as paupers, and businessmen working hard and merely earning enough to keep the minimum credit card payments fulfilled. By the way, that rule also means that coming from a millionaire family and hard work at a self-owned business is one of many ways to become a millionare. This must be made clear, lest I offend the millionaire families and the hard-working self-made millionaire. The second rule is believing in luck, which is how yours truly became a millionaire. I'm new at thi...

As always, while waiting for my turn to present the business news segment of Astro News, I'll watch the general news segment, which comes on before me. And it was the first day of school for 2006, and the customary report on the big event was there. It brought back so many memories of my experience being the first-day student and the first-day parent. ^^ Khadijah with her schoolmates in 2006 About 6 years ago, I had my first experience in sending my first-born to school. The same experience was repeated some 2 years after that, when my second-born was enrolled. Both went through the "ordeal" - as it was for some of us - with flying colours; of course, both had been in school since they were 3 years old. Aishah & Khadijah enjoyed the socialising and learning, the parties, the games, the music sessions, oh... and of course the concerts. My own pre-school concert graduation was a big hoo haa. I was supposed to mimic playing a guitar, and I was supposed to bring my own. ...

It is now the third day of 2006, there'll be another 362 days of the year for us to go through, InsyaAllah. I ushered in the new year grappling with an issue of love and relationship; over the most-widely used communication of the 21st century (SMS), my friend and me fought over the right to love silently, the right to long for love, and the right to leave love be. It makes me sad that LOVE, the universal bond between all inhabitants of this earth, is now a cause for discontentment between us. The effect of the argument is dramtically embellished by the ushering of the New Year, that was to happen about 24 hours from the time the argument began. There is definite friction, yet there is clearly affection; strangely, and this has been said and noted several times before by other people, it is love, it is affection, it is care that can lead to friction. There is a way to come to an amicable solution; God promised us that. Perhaps in time it will prevail, as love always prevail. Always...

A new year beckons, but unlike in previous years, I am this year very sentimental as 2006 approaches. I've lived 36 years. It has been an eventful 36 years, I can tell you that much. If you read my 35th year entries (35 and 35 (add)), it has had a good share of joy and sorrow, much like any other beings. Still, for some reason, 2006 is like a corner for me. By October 2006, I'll be 37 years old. I'll be 7 years behind my goal of financial independence by 30; it'll be 7 years from my first divorce, 3 years from my second; my darling daughters would be 12 and 10 respectively; the list goes on and on. I was going through a multitude of what-ifs yesterday, as I lazed around the house. What if I's stayed married the first time? What if I didn't go ahead with the second marriage when she called it off 45 days to the event? What if I'd taken that job offer at the then Arab Malaysian? What if I'd taken that offer to return to acting? What if I's stayed on at...

Some years ago I watched a movie alled Patch Adams, mainly attracted to it because the lead actor was Robin Williams. Williams is one of the most gifted actors in the world, and if you read up about him, he is also a great man. Anyway, for the benefit of those who's never watched the movie, Patch Adams tells of a medical student's unorthodox ways of treating patients. In the domain of doctors, their practices are considered holy, and their opinions are considered visionary. Much like the Williams himself, Patch is a comedian. A man so funny and happy that on his student transcript, an envious dean noted he was "excessively happy". But because of his unorthodox ways (like wearing a red nose patch when treating patients, like treating an elderly woman who refused to eat by swimming with her in a pool of spaghetti!), he was frowned upon by several members of the staff, fellow students and nurses. Patch says it was not the field that was was uncomfortable with his demean...

Last night I attended a wedding of a new acquaintance of mine; Kevin Barnaby Fernandez, who married his long time girlfriend Dessy, an Indonesian. This entry is merely to extend further my well wishes to the bride and groom, who both lokked resplendent last night. My first meeting with Kevin was "on-air"... when he first started to present the general news segment of Astro News. While we both go on-air at the same time, we never got to see each other as we work in different studios. But my colleague and best friend Sheahnee Lee recognised the guy on tv, as they were classmates at KDU, and spent time also in Perth when they did their final year there. Shen tells me then, that Kev was dating an Indonesian girl he met on orientation night in their first semester at KDU. Apparently it was Shen who drove Dessy to the dinner, and in fact, in the beginning Kev was not up to going to the dinner. I finally met Kev, by chance, at the Istana Hotel's Musictheque, when I braved myself...

About mid morning, my Celcom line rang. It was an unfamiliar number. As a rule, I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognise. But something about this number called to me. "Hello", I said. "Hello Encik Amir", said the voice on the other line. "Yes...", I said, still unable to place the voice. "Well I'm from FlyFM and I'm calling to say that your daughter Aishah has won 2 tickets to the premier screening of The Fog. But I need your identity card number as she doesn't have one", said the caller. I'm like at this point ecstatic that Aishah had won a prize on radio; her father has won numerous prizes on radio. Some of the luck has rubbed off to her! But the caller went on, this time raving about Aishah. "Your daughter is SO well-spoken for an 11 year old. She is well-mannered, and has good telephone manners", she went on. "In fact I'm gonna call her again to chat one day, and also to record what she s...

It has been a year and 13 days since my last entry. I think I owe myself this entry. Recent, very recent developments in my life has made me all messed up again. Relationships have a place in everybody's lives, but I am so confused about the state of mine, and wether or not I am truly ready to be up for another. Is there such a thing a conditional love? Think about it; for you to love someone, you surely expect the person to love you back. Is that not a condition? You hope that when you do something nice for the other half, they'd be grateful. Even guised as a hope, it IS a condition, because if they don't show appreciation, you'd be hurt... either privately or openly. We ended our relationship yesterday; "no regrets". But I left wondering if I was ever truly ready for such a commitment after my last divorce. Why do I wonder that? Because I know that I was unfair in some ways to her. I was. Did that stem from my belief that I was ready for love? And did that b...

In my last entry, I mused about how I have an issue with the term African-American. Actually I also take offence to the other racial terminologies used in Stateside, like Asian-American. What the hey? Can Malaysians ever go that low and start labeling Chinese as Chinese-Malaysians and Indians as Indian-Malaysians? Will the Ibans be Iban-Malaysian, the Sikhs Sikh-Malaysian? I don't think so. America prides itself in a lot of things; it wears the tag of Policeman of The World proudly, claims it is The Land of Opportunity. And yet, it cannot give the citizens that were born in the country the rightful label of American. Simply American. You can't be a just leader that way. You just can't. To be a good leader, you must first be a good follower. And if you can't follow the rudiments of sociology, or anything for that matter, how can you lead? I'd like to see the day that all Americans, irrespective of race, colour or creed, can proudly say "We a...

I watched The Core for the umpteenth time this morning. Lst night I watched Air Force One, also for the umpteenth time. Yes, I hear you... both American propaganda. I like The Core, because it deals with something that will happen: the end of the world. My best friend thinks I've this morbid fascination with death, but the truth is death is a reality. I've had to endure 5 significant deaths in my 35 years of life, the first at 9 years old. My best friend Sheikh Faisal passed on to a gunshot to his head, some 150 metres away from me. So I learnt quite early on about the harsh reality of life. Faisal's death moved me in two ways. I learnt the value of a friendship. Faisal and I had become best friends just a few days before his untimely passing. He lived across from our house. To lose a friend is one thing, but to lose a friend you declared as your best, just days fater the dclaration, and to a gunshot, is quite traumatic. I also learnt, or rather understood, d...

More things over the last wonderful 35 years. I am able to say wonderful because of the great law of averages... You might have noticed that even what seems like a negative occurence are listed as "achieved". I see them as platforms to achievements really; a failure will remain a failure unless you learn from the setback and turn it into a positive. Turning negatives into positives is a real concept. * Was player/manager for a soccer club in the Selangor League 3rd Division * Advanced the club to it's furthest level in the Selangor FA Cup competition, 3rd round just before the quarters * Went through the trauma of a collapsed lung * Endured temporary paralysis of the lower body * Emerged as the fastest pasta eater at a PJ Hilton Pasta Eating Contest * Am reigning champion because they never had the contest again * Was the first male cashier for KFC Malaysia (when they went self-service) * Sat in the actual model of KITT of Knight Rider fame (I have a pix to ...

You know, a birthday is a birthday is a birthday. Or is it? I celebrate my 35th birthday today. That's half my mother's age, which means my dad, at about 33, had already had five children. Amazing. Being a father is one of the best experiences a guy can ever go through. I remember the feeling at the birth of each of my two daughters. The warmth of their bodies when you first hold them; that innocent look on their faces; the unbelievably small fingers. Looking at that creation of God, in which you had a role in, you're just overcome with a feeling of pure joy. So what is a birthday really? To me its a celebration. No... get past the cakes and gifts and well-wishes. Aptly its a celebration of life. Today I celebrate 35 years of being on the face of the earth, going through the ups and downs, feeling joy and pain and learning from our own and other people's experiences. What have I done in 35 years? Quite a lot apparently. This list will be updated as and when I remember. ...

I began writing this just before my now ex-colleague Reed Shamsudin left. I've updated the last bits. To Reed, I hope your new station in life works out for you. I am sure you'll do great. Blogland, My office will lose another star by the end of this week, a star by the name of Reed Shamsudin. Reed's leaving ASTRO News, and the broadcasting industry, to move into the print news business. Reed's resignation is the third in the space of six months for ASTRO News. I don't know about industry averages, but I'd venture to guess that at that rate of departure, we may just be able to rival Chep Lap Kok (forgive the spelling if it's wrong) Airport in Hong Kong! After Josie Ling left in February, Sherine Ong followed in March. Josie has moved on to bigger things in Bloomberg in Singapore, while Sherine left for beautiful Italy to study the language on a free three-month scholarship. Like Josie and Sherine's, Reed's departure is also a clas...

Hello there, To my blog's most avid fan, Sheahnee Lee, my apologies lah for keeping you waiting for my entries. You of all people would be more than aware of my time table. But things are a bit better now, and I hope for my own sake I can blog with some semblance of regularity. I like to write after all. The next few entries will seem a bit confusing in terms of timeline. They're actually original entries that I saved as drafts; I've updated them but the core stories will be based on when they were originally began. Right then, let's start all over again. Warm regards, AMIR MAHMOOD RAZAK

Bloggies, Here I am, back again after a long, long lull, dictated by my body's natural decision to shut-down after abandoning care for the gift from God (to me, of course, not to women LOL). Anyways, in days to come I shall be writing again. Here's a preview: # A Tribute To Reed Shamsudin: a colleague leaves, and I consider him the funnier of us. A good journalist, oft misunderstood, with a gift of the gab in certain genres. # Update on Haza & Am: The Haza & Am saga is updated with a new development. # Soulmates Are For Real: How I discovered my first-ever soulmate. I never believed in the concept. So if you want to catch up, join me again soon. Meanwhile, here's a thought: "If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today." Warm regards. Amir Mahmood Razak

PemBLOG - PemBLOG sekelian, I had a friend. Had a friend. Had. Now the friend is a foe, or at least I feel like I'm being treated as a foe. I'm not invited to go out with the group when she's part of the entourage, even to visit an ill friend. We've gone from being very animated hellos and chats to single-word responses, and now to absolute silence. My fault? I like someone. And the friend thinks that I'm making a huge mistake by doing so. And does the friend tell me about the reservations? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Tell everyone else but me. Everyone else. Italy's not that far. Tell all and sundry but me. Wait... did I use the word friend? Isn't a friend supposed to help? Defined by The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (4th edition, 2000): A person whom one knows, likes & trusts. A person whom one knows: an acquaintance. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause: a comrade. One who suppo...