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Death, Worms & Cyrogenics

Bloggies,

Here's an article I wrote in October 2002. It deals with that "reality tv" issue. Please lah... is anything ever real on tv anymore, with the exception of ASTRO News....?

DEATH, WORMS & CRYOGENICS

In most religions or cultures, a dead person is buried six feet underground after the last rituals are performed. What happens thereafter is anybody’s guess, but I suppose one thing is for sure; you’d end up becoming a meal for creatures that actually live underground. Worms.

Call me a wimp but I hate worms. Worms are the reason why I never took up fishing, much to the chagrin of my dad, brother and uncle. I mean I know worms, like any other creature has its roles to play, but hey… I don’t need to play the supporting role do I?

So it astounds me to see people actually agreeing to lie in a tub and have what must have been 50 kilos of worms poured over their bodies. The prize? US50,000.

That was on last night’s Fear Factor, another one of many “reality tv” programs that have been churned out by tv-dom in the Land of the Free and the Brave (that’s subject for another day, by the way). Come on? To prove fear is not a factor?

For US50,000 dollars (if you get through the other two stunts), you get to experience what happens six feet underground, after you’re dead and buried. While you are alive!

My guess is that if you die and experience it, the prize would be even greater; you get to meet The Creator himself. Surely you can’t put a price to that?

Think of what you can talk about with Him, questions you can ask!

Like why did He not make the most popular girl in school ever notice you? Or like why did He give Bill Gates the idea for Windows and not you? How come you ended up with a wife that your mother did warn you about? Or why did He ever put the idea of singing into Bjork’s head? And of course, why did the chicken cross the road?

A great man once said two things motivate people. The pursuit of happiness and avoidance of pain. The guys who went through the experience last night felt pain too. “Does it bite”, asks the host. “Yes”, cries the contestant.

Excuse me, but you’re supposed to avoid pain.

That’s the real reason cryogenics were invented. You think the guys who pay an arm and a leg for cryogenics were looking for immortality? Come on. Get serious.

After a few years of high school you think you’ve had enough. After a few years married you wonder why you did it. After three months in a new job you’re looking at options. Get real. All these people who hide behind the immortality excuse just wants to avoid them worms. They don’t want to live forever. After 70 years surely you start to think when’s my time gonna come.

As for me, I’m eight months into my new job now. Let’s see. Have you got the classifieds?

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