notwoxer (An RB Amero Blog)

The Court of Life

2012-01-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

I think it is amazing how we - me included - are skewed to judge people. We all do it, but some acts of judging a person or something is more dangerous than others.

You may say "I'm not judgemental", and you're right to feel so. If it is true, good on you. If not, take heart that it's not always detrimental.

We see a guy who drives a shabby car, or wear shabby shoes, and we judge the person. "Probably a salaried staff of a small firm", we say, and that in reality is judging a person. Quite harmless I suppose, as it will be forgotten just as quickly as the fleeting moment of judging itself.

We see a house, and we judge the occupants. We see people and we judge their habits. Quite harmless, and also wasteful if you ask me.

But then there's the judging of a different kind; one where our judgement actually affects a person, or persons.

Take for example a situation when a new employee joins our firm or department. Naturally, we will be sizing the person up (as he or she would be sizing us up as well). Then we hear "stories" about the person, and fact or fiction, we form our opinions. Then we hear "true account first person stories" about the person, and fact or fiction, again we form further opinions.

If the newbie is unlucky, the formed opinion could very well make his or her life difficult. Other people will hear the stories, and it could spread. Like wildfire. And human nature is prone to giving life to gossipy and scandalous stories. His or her good values? Ah well, a story for another day...

Fact is, we are no one to judge anyone whom we do not know. But the other fact is, we do. Sometimes when we do it, we affect the person, or his or her plans, just because we feel it is our right.

Be like a judge: make judgements based on facts. If you can't get the facts, try. If you have the facts, then judge, correctly. Otherwise, you're more than likely to be wrong in your judgement. Nobody likes being wrong, least of all the person wrongly judged.

THE FORGOTTEN APPLE #3

2011-10-07T08:54:00.000+08:00

So the world mourns the death of a true genius, Steve Jobs. To say he changed the world we live in would be an understatement. He changed the way the world communicated, and the outpouring of emotions witnessed the past 48 hours is a fitting tribute to a great, visionary man.

Some have coined the phrase about the three apples that impacted the world; the one Eve ate in heaven, the one that landed on Newton's head, and the bitten apple Steve Jobs offered to the world. I put it to you that there were four apples, the last one being the poisoned apple fed to Snow White by the evil queen.

We accept that everything changes something; from inventions, stories, recipes and everything that exists, values and opinions are formed. A book you read forms your opinion, a statement by someone forces your own agreement or otherwise, that exotic fruit you tasted changes your take on it, the song you hear creates something in your thought.

So when the fairytale "Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs" was written, and read, it formed millions of thoughts. I know of at least one friend, a Malaysian, that hated apples to this day as a net result of reading the story. And I'm sure if you ask, there would be many more that are in the same boat.

So, there can't be just three apples that changed the world. Sorry Eve, Steve, and Newton don't mean to steal the thunder from all of you. You all deserve the accolades for sure. But I'm giving equal credit (of changing the world) to the poisoned apple of that well-loved fairy tale.

Imagine if it wasn't written, apple growers could have had a larger market; apple juices too would be more popular; the humble apple pie would have been tasted by many more people; the adage "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" would have more believers; and perhaps, if the author used banana instead, the banana would be less popular eh?

And so ladies and gentlemen, please give a fourth apple (in fact it was the third apple) the credit it deserved in changing the world. I give to you, the poisoned apple of the fairytale "Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs".

Thank you.

AL FATIHAH

2008-07-19T14:59:00.002+08:00

Syed Mohamed Nur, an Assistant producer at Awani's Non-bulletin unit passed away today, Saturday, 19th of July 2008.

Syed was with the NB team at the EDR at Bukit Jalil assisting in the recording of Perspektif Kita and Temujanji, when he collapsed. He was rushed to Hospital Serdang, but according to doctors he passed away due to heart failure in the ambulance.

Syed was 23.

My condolences to his family

Proud Malaysian

2008-07-15T21:16:00.003+08:00

Today, the debate takes place.

An opposition leader takes on a political rival in a public, televised debate on a current issue.

No matter what your political leanings are, you just have to be proud of this historical debate.

Let there be more disciplined, intelligent, mind-opening and factual debates of this nature, for Maalaysia's sake.

There is a God.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE BRITNEY SPEAR'S MOVIE

2008-06-23T15:56:00.004+08:00

crossroad
Main Entry: cross·road
Pronunciation: \ˈkrȯs-ˌrōd also -ˈrōd\
Function: noun
Date: 1686
1: a road that crosses a main road or runs cross-country between main roads
2 usually plural but singular or plural in construction a: the place of intersection of two or more roads b (1): a small community located at such a crossroads (2): a central meeting place c: a crucial point especially where a decision must be made
- from Meriam-Webster's Online Dictionary

What do you do when you're at a crossroad?

No, this is not like the "why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road" question, although I can give you the answer to that too. :) The short answer is to decide where to go! Duh! But more often than not, such questions are asked when one needs to make a decision. Much like the political scene in Malaysia today. Some people have to start making major decisions because some people have not just reached a crossroad, but multiple crossroads! Eh... I digress... So if you, dear reader are at a crossroad, here's some advice.
(NOTE: I BELIEVE THAT ADVICE IS EXACTLY THAT: ADVICE. NO ONE IS PRESSURED TO TAKE ADVICE AND PRACTICE IT.)

You know what the best thing about reaching a crossroad is? Well, for one, you're there! Which is more than what others can claim. It means that you have traveled a fair distance and, if you're the type that has a focus on the journey and not just the destination, chances are you'd have enough resources to make a good and informed decision.

Most of us won't make a decision because we fear failure, or in some cases, fear that the decision we make will make us seem like a failure. Fair concern. Humans by nature is in the business of the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain. Failure according to some of us is painful.

We're so obsessed with the idea of success that failure looks like its the end of it all. Yet we forget that one only fails when one stops trying. I doubt the great inventors of our time ever stopped trying; otherwise they won't be great would they?

I wouldn't want to make it sound as if decision making is a simple process. Far from it. But what I'd like to impress upon readers is that if we take fear out of the equation, it'd be much simpler.

Think about it: you fear people will judge you on one call? If the person does then the person is not utilising resources well (in a corporate scenario), or just not worth it (in a relationship scenario).

Yes, decision making is a complex process. You need information, you need risk evaluation, you need scenario analysis. But one thing's for sure, if you don't make a decision, then you're stuck where you are.

Which may be a good or a bad thing, but you wouldn't be at the crossroad if you weren't meant to be.

So, chin up, assess the options, make the call, and stand by it. Because guess what? No sooner have you turned the corner will another one turn up? You can bet your life on that!

Cheers all.

Picture credit: http://cassandrapages.typepad.com/the_cassandra_pages/place/index.html

HIStoryCALFUTURE

2008-06-23T15:11:00.006+08:00

Of late, I often catch myself thinking about the future.

What is in store for me? But ponder as I might, I'm always brought back to one point.

Me.

I have not just had this epiphany that I am the master of my life and my destiny. Far from it. I've always known that one's lot in life is in one's control. I've always believed with conviction that all the good and bad that happen in your life is due to you.

My perspective is not seminal; I look at negatives (failures, et cetera) as opportunities to start anew. They are wonderful vantage points from where you can initiate a responsible, truthful and realistic post mortem, from which you can pick up pointers.

Similarly I look at positives (successes, et cetera (I've recently come into the habit of spelling etc. in full... go figure!) as opportunities for more of the same. They also offer the same vantage point from where we can make greater strides and inroads towards whatever it is we were striving for.

But the truth is, often times, most of us - and that includes me - look at sucesses with such finality that we fall into the trap of resting on our laurels as the saying goes.

It's been a fantastic journey for me. The ups and the down of almost 39 years of life never fail to astound me.

I like history. Simply because it allows me to live a longer life than the one that Allah has graced upon me, how ever long that is. But I've often marvelled at how deep I get when I look back into my own history.

I can recall events as far back as when I was 5 I believe, when I was running around the little garden we had at No 30 Jalan 22/44, PJ. I was clad in a white pair of shorts with a pin-hole sleeveless vest, and mom and dad were tending to the garden, while my second sibling was doing the chasing.

Such memory recalls often lead me to push further what more I can remember of my past.

One thing I have noticed is that there was a phase in my life when I only recalled the bad memories. It was a brief phase thankfully, as I learnt quite quickly that it tended to make one become too self-absorbed and trap one into a feeling of helplessness.

History is a great teacher, it was once said. I know that for a fact. Yet, no amount of history recall can teach you anything unless you wanted to.

The two ideas - history and the future - contradict in terms of direction. Yet the two can provide tremendous drive for life. I know.

But I want a peek into the future. Has anyone got Dr Emmet Brown's contact? I need the keys to the Delorean...

A New Journey

2008-02-17T23:39:00.003+08:00

You'll never know until you try.

For years I hung on. Nothing else mattered. Come what may, my choice would never change.

We've been through plenty together; from the time we were introduced, I liked what I had. Small yet plenty to offer. Plain looking but full of surprises.

At one time, I protested when I could no longer have the same. I went to the powers that be and I spoke my mind.

The return was sweet...

But the other day, I tried something new. And I fell in love.

Since then, we've had 4 meetings, all wonderful.

Slightly bigger, but it was for a reason, and I knew too that this was sweet!

So from now on, its the KFC Zinger Burger for me; The Colonel Burger? Well, we've had great times, and it will remain that. A great time!

Thanks to my darling for introducing me to the KFC Zinger burger!

Introducing Cheongchai Abdullah

2007-09-02T10:53:00.000+08:00

Ladies and gentlemen,

This is Cheongchai Abdullah; a street tabbycat that I informally "adopted". His name is derived from the dental clinic in front of where I found him, Cheong & Chai Dental. I still have not decided whether of not he is an MD.

The story of my friendship with Cheongchai is simple; I go to the gym across the block from the 24 hour store you see in the picture. One day, as I sometimes do after gym, I drove to the store to get my isotonic drink after working out. There was this cat, just sitting pretty in front of the store.

As I normally do when I see cats, I called out to it, you know, the sound that the gecko makes. Kind of like tsk tsk tsk..

Cheongchai looked at me indifferently, almost as if he was saying, "Yes?".

Then he turned away. I walked into the store and did my shopping and left. As I walked out of the store the cat was still there. I spoke to him again, this time asking him if he was hungry. Again he looked at me non-chalantly.

This went on for three days. On the third day, I figured he was special because it was as if the spot was his own; that he ruled that spot in Section 14 PJ.

I went into the store, bought my usual, and looked out for cat food which was not there. So I settled for some canned tuna.

I took it out and opened the tub, fed the cat and he gobbled 3/4 of the can. He looked happy and not to averse to my being really close to him.

Then I decided I needed to give him a name. I thought of naming him Norman Vincent Peale II, in memory of my original tabby cat with similar ownership beginnings that I lost in 2002. But then I thought NVPII had to be given to a cat I was ready to take home.

(I would have taken this cat home but my condo has strict rules against pets, and my new house - a landed property - won't be ready until September/October.)

So I looked around and Cheong & Chai stood out, and tabby was named Cheongchai Abdullah.

Cheongchai came up to me after his supper, and did wat cats do best: he sniffed my legs and then sat on my shoes, gesturing his appreciation I guess.

I have missed Cheongchai these past 2 weeks though. We're all set for the big launch of my latest project this Tuesday (to the media), and the on-air transmission launch on September 6th, plus the planning for my talkshow debuting in the 3rd week of Septmber, PLUS the National Budget 2008 Show on September 7th. So I have missed the gym for a while.

I'm sure Cheongchai, the hardy and lovable cat that he is, is doing just fine.

Spend My Life With You

2007-08-14T18:29:00.000+08:00

UPDATED AUG 19:

Aren't songs just a wonderful way to express one's feelings?

After being silent for about 3 months - and getting alot of flak from fellow bloggers, friends and foes about it - I thought it appropriate to start the ball rolling with this wonderful Eric Bennet song, in which he duets with Tamia.

If you're in love, about to get married, THIS is the song. It's be a great wedding march song!

So much has happened in my life in the 3 months of silence; all my blogs went comatose during this period. Been busy with a new project that is set to take off in the next few weeks, sorting out my private life and the rest of the stuff that people do.

So here's hoping - again - that I can muster another round of sustained blogging.

Welcome all, once again.

Spend My Life With You

I never knew such a day could come
And I never knew such a love
Could be inside of one

And I never knew what my life was for
But now that you're here I know for sure

I never knew till I looked in your eyes
I was incomplete till the day you walked into my life
And I never knew that my heart could feel
So precious and pure
One love so real

Can I just see you every morning when
I open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time
Can I just spend my life with you

Now baby the days and the weeks
And the years will roll by
But nothing will change the love inside
Of you and I

And baby I'll never find any words
That could explain
Just how much my heart my life
My soul you've changed

Can you run to these open arms
When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
I'm your woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand
Can I just spend my life with you

No touch has ever felt so wonderful
(You are incredible)
And a deeper love I've never known
(I'll never let you go)
I swear this love is true
(Now and forever to you)
(only for you)
To you
Can I just see you every morning when

I open my eyes
Can I just feel your heart beating beside me
Every night
Can we just feel this way together
Till the end of all time
Can I just spend my life with you
Can you run to these open arms

When no one else understands
Can we tell God and the whole world
You're my woman, and you're my man
Can't you just feel how much I love you
With one touch of my hand
Can I just spend my life with you

Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just spend my life with you
(Forever here with you)
Can I just spend my life with you
Can I just see you every morning when I
Open my eyes

Blog Talk: IABC Silver Quills 2007 Side Program

2007-05-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

This Friday, the Malaysian Chapter of the International Association of Business Communicators (IABC) will hold its Silver Quills Award ceremony, honouring the best communication efforts of Malaysia's corporates.

The event will be attended by Minister of Women, Family & Community Development Dato' Sri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, and will be held at Hilton Kuala Lumpur.

The side program may interest you if you are a blogger, or if you're wondering how blogging has affected how corporates relate to their public. Seats are still available, and you can get the details by clicking the IABC Malaysia logo at the top of this posting. Price includes a scrumptious hi-tea.

Renowned blogger and friend Jeff Ooi will be part of a three-panel team, along with another famous blogger Ahiruddin "Rocky" Attan. Also on the panel is branding expert and award-winning author Nick Wreden. Your truly will be moderating the session.

I am told that this is a pre-cursor to more blogging-related events that are going to take place in Malaysia this year, both by IABC Malaysia and other organisations. It should serve the blogging community and its readers well.

See you there!

My New Blog: The Malaysia Gazette

2007-05-17T04:06:00.000+08:00

Ahh... the beauty of desktop publishing.

Presenting to you, www.themalaysiagazette.blogspot.com addressing many views that I should have a "serious" blog, and leave notwoxer as it was.

I hear you.

Enjoy.

999: APB, We Have The Suspect

2007-05-14T17:33:00.000+08:00

I heard on Lite.fm at 5pm today that Mazidul Akmar Sidek, the plump host of TV3 crime-documentary was charged with injecting amphetamines into himself. The charge, made with three unnamed persons, was that he injected himslef with the substance in Johor Bahru.

I'm going to follow this closely as I have met him a couple of times; didn't seem the type to play with the substance.

Shrek III: Do Your Bit for Charity

2007-05-14T12:49:00.000+08:00

Islamic Relief (or here), a UK-based charity foundation is organising a charity viewing for Shrek III for orphans from a particular orphanage.

You can sponsor a child to watch the movie! It starts at RM 30 per child.

Get your details from the links above, and help spread cheer among the less fortunate. Volunteers are also welcomed.

I'm helpng a friend who works there; hope you can spread the word too.

Ijok & The Nasi & Lauk Story

2007-05-03T14:29:00.000+08:00

THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED TO www.themalaysiagazette.blogspot.com

THANK YOU FOR VISTING.

I Hate Thierry Henry

2007-04-30T17:07:00.000+08:00

I used to think he was a football God, but after this, he can kiss my ass for any ounce of respect from me.

So we didn't win anything this season, so we didn't make the Champions League again, but hey, we didn't spend millions either. Wait a minute? Arse-senal did! And a check at the trophy cabinet for the season shows....

Eh... kosong aje?

Bits of the French snobbishness:

"I would like to remind them that once again they have not made the Champions League".

"What makes me laugh is the way Tottenham always celebrate whenever they get a draw against us".

"It was the same when we won the league there in 2004. They equalised to make it 2-2 that day and when I saw Taricco celebrate so much that he injured himself, I said to him 'you do realise we only needed a point and now we are celebrating the title on your ground."

Brudder, I see you in PJ that time, siap you!

Handout Mentality In Practice

2007-04-30T13:11:00.000+08:00

THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED TO www.themalaysiagazette.blogspot.com

THANK YOU FOR VISITING.

The Law & You... Sigh

2007-04-30T12:38:00.000+08:00

The distinction has to be made between a case that has already been tried an a decision given, to one that is still in the process of trial.

In such situations as the latter, the parties to the case shall not be described as one that has failed to effect an order, as clearly a judgement has not been made.

It is then incumbent upon the parties, more so the party making a claim, to refer to the second party as merely the defendant or respondent.

Only if a judgement is made, and an order to effect payment issued will the defendant or respondent become liable to further court proceedings IF he or she is in default of the order. However, it must be said that in such instances, under social observation the defendant is deemed as one that has failed to meet his responsibilities.

Still, in the eyes of the legal system, the person is "innocent until proven guilty". This is the very foundation upon which the legal profession is based, and one that is most closely linked to the upholding of basic human rights.

The World We Live In

2007-04-28T11:31:00.001+08:00

A friend emailed me with this message today:

Bila i dengar berita tak elok about yourself. I terus tak nak kawan dengan orang yang sampaikan cerita tak elok tu. I straigt away delete the person number from my hp. My principle in friendship very simple. Dont ever enter the "PNC" of our friend and kita kena sentiasa bersangka baik dengan semua kengkawan kita.

Bila ada yang mulut murai and suka sangat tabur fitnah,suka sangat jaga tepi kain orang lain then libatkan my fren ( i do believe memang baik) I memang naik angin. I just ignore all the mengarut story.

I'm not perfect. Far from it.

But being in the public eye somewhat, and at one point being married to another, your imperfections, true or otherwise, get magnified enormously.

Some choose to listen to one side of the story. Some chose to listen to both sides but despite clarity, choose to run with the crowd, no matter how distorted it is. Still some, will juts listen to scraps from others and decide on their own the juicier rumour would be all the more interesting.

Thank you my friend for your belief in me; but hear this: don't leave your friend out in the cold like that. Both can still have an opinion and remain friends - that is true friendship.

I feel sad today.

Firefly's Newest Destination: Bukit Jelutong

2007-04-28T02:18:00.000+08:00

If you guys think this entry is about the Firefly & AirAsia issue (thanks Rocks), you're mistaken.

Returning from Sri Pentas, I was walking up the stairs of my abode in Bukit Jelutong in Shah Alam (which is a Guthrie development; it was Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim's vision to make Guthrie multi-faceted and not merely a palm oil planter, when of all things, a firefly flew in front of me.

I was ecstatic!

But my trusted Nokia 6288 phone was on the blink, so I only had my small Nokia phone camera to spare. I took some really awful shots with them, and I will post them here as soon as I figure that phone out!

But what a pleasant surprise. The green light of the firefly just put me in absolute awe of the power of Allah, and the beauty of nature.

Perhaps the firefly - which I named Paswan (for it was past one a.m.)- got lost from all the brouhaha in Ijok, and got sent here.

Guthrie is developing a lake (read: drain) district here, and perhaps these little creatures will make a new home here.

I home Paswan will make BJ his new home.

Oh firefly,
With your green light you lit the dark night,
And put a smile on my trodden face.

I see you flap your wings,
And then your body lights up,
As if you were destined to keep us in awe,
Of your wondrous nature.

Oh firefly,
Won't you make BJ your home?

I will the pictures soon!

What's The Penalty for Defacing The National Flag?

2007-04-25T07:46:00.000+08:00

So Sharifah Mazlina is back from her arduos journey to the North Pole, and adds to her achievement of getting to the South Pole exactly three years ago to the month.

She is the first Asian woman to achieve the "pole-to=pole" mission, was the first Asian woman to get to the South Pole, first woman in the world to cross the Atlantic in a solo ski-sail expedition.

Congratulations to her. She's one tough lady I suppose, as not many people, man included would have braved those journeys. It's expensive too I am certain. Oh... she had sponsors.

Anyway, she was "live" on TV minutes ago as TV3 interviewed as a large crowd of "supporters" gathered to greet her arrival (they were suspiciously wearing some corporate uniform though).

At the end of the interview, she raised the Jalur Gemilang, and she pointed out ink stamps that were clearly on the yellow crest moon and the multi-pointed yellow star. These apparently marked her north and south successes.

I am no legal expert, but isn't defacing the national flag an offence. A more famous Malaysian of whom I am truly proud of almost got sent behind bars for his artistic interpretations of a key national blackmark:

During the civil turmoil of May 13, 1969, Ibrahim stumbled across a Malaysian flag lying pitifully on the ground. He picked it up and subsequently used it as a canvas to record the event. That painting, appropriately entitled May 13 1969 nearly put Ibrahim behind bars for 'defacing' the Malaysian flag.
See context here.

Back when the Malaysian football league was a lot more palatable and professional than its present-day porfessional form, my friends and I I always had either the state or national flags for us to take to the stadiums. And we were always aware of the need to ensure the flag does not touch the ground, and that it was treated with respect.

Perhaps because of titles such as Asia's first or world's first affors some form of invincibility too.

My New Blog

2007-04-24T16:22:00.000+08:00

Hello all,

MALAYSIA BOLEH

I have started a new blog, that will delve into the colourful way that Malaysians and malaysian companies approach their communications.

MY Country, My Speak takes a peek at the funny and sometimes irritating ways...

It debuts with a new word I discovered only last night: PRESENTATED.

Enjoy!

AMIR MAHMOOD RAZAK

Kidnapped Yin Safe; Is The Case Closed?

2007-04-15T04:08:00.000+08:00

UPDATE:
Hah! Perhaps the police we're being extremely tactical in saying the case was closed. Let the suspects let their guard down then WHAMMO! YOU'RE BUSTED DUDE!

Let's pray that this case is solved quickly and we kill two birds with one stone; the perpetrators of the incident as well as the begging problem in KL and other major Malaysian cities.

AMIR
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While the nation I am sure has sighed relief that Muhammad Nazrin Shamsul Ghazali has been returned to his parents, a quick corridor survey I conducted confirms my own doubts if the case should be treated as closed; people are asking many questions:

a.) why was the boy shaved bald?
b.) the claim by the Myanmarese couple that they did not know what to do after finding the boy is unbelievable

The case is closed, as far as Malaysian police is concerned. IGP Tan Sri Musa Hasan said "Now that Yin has been found, the case has been closed as there are no criminal elements involved".

I may be called ungrateful, but to me there seem to be too much ambiguities in the "discovery" of the child in Sentul.

The story goes that Myanmarese couple, Rasidah Nur Islam, 27, and Abdul Rahman Doli Rahman, 31, who live in Sentul Pasar "realised" that they were in fact housing Yin for the past two weeks, only after looking at a poster of Yin they received while shopping at Sogo Shopping Centre in KL on Saturday.

After finding the boy on March 31st, they took him home and did not know what to do with the boy. Ok, call me a skeptic, but the first thing anyone does when finding something that does not belong to him or her is go to the police. This was not even a "thing", it was a boy!

My second query is, if the boy had been under their care for the last two weeks, wouldn't any of their neighbours seen the boy? Was the boy kept inside the home all this while? If so, where (and why) did he get his head shaven?

It should be noted that shaving a child bald is quite a common MO for kidnappers; it immediately changes the appearance of a child.

The plot thickens when you consider that an anonymous call was received claiming that the boy was going to be sent to Myanmar.

I'm curious because as much as I am happy for the boy and his parents, I would surely want to see such incidents no longer happening in Malaysia.

I'm no cop, but shouldn't we question the couple and his neighbours on the questions I pose here, and some more I'm sure readers will have?

You Trust Technology?

2007-04-11T15:30:00.000+08:00

I was overseas last week when my friend called me up, and said that my kutu dues are up... ok, ok... so we men play kutu too! He had advanced his money to settle my portion to this month's beneficiary, and then his dad passed; he needed the cash quick.

With the advent of Internet banking, I can "go to the bank" 24 hours a day, but I was in the middle of the foreign city, and no Internet access.

Empathising with a friend in need - who had advanced his money for my dues without me asking so - I texted my brother in KL.

"Abang, can you get to a Hong Leong Bank anytime soon? Need some assistance to deposit cash into a friend's account."

"Sure, if the one near my house has a cash deposit machine" was his response.

I then sighed relief, and sent him this message:

"My friend's father passed away and he needs money that I owe him from kutu for the prayer ceremony. Please deposit RM500 into this account (I gave the name and number)".

He replied in the affirmative. But about five minutes later, he said:

"Mood, is this really you? When's my birthday?"

Hah! My brother was not sure that he'll end up actually helping me or giving money for nothing to a man he know nothing about!

I sent him a text message not just confirming his birthday, I added the name, colour and registration of the first car he bought upon his return from Swansea. That convinced him that I was who I said I was.

But think about it...

You trust the technology that's available today don't you? From the ubiquitous mobile phone, the laptop, the automated teller machine, the Internet. We trust them in the absolute; in fact we've taken them for granted.

But remember technology can be manipulated. What if my brother trusted the message he received absolutely, and didn't bother to check if it was indeed me that was asking for the favour, AND, that it was a fraudulent message.

He'd be a good RM500 poorer.

People will do anything to make a fast buck these days, and technology - which I should point out is supposed to make life easier - is also making it easier for con men and fraudsters to do so!

My posting on "How I Became A Multimillionaire" is an example of how the Internet is being used by fraudsters to keep food on their table.

And they do! A police officer I spoke to in the country I visited said numerous reports have been filed under "Internet Fraud"; but he admitted many don't come forward in avoidance of shame.

For the record, I have become a multi billionaire now... :)

Remember the brou-ha-ha over the ATM scams?

Phishing of bank account details over the net?

Think about it... are we developing technology for the better? Are we totally trusting technology to a point that we forget that it is man-made, and thus may be prone to man's frailties?

UPDATE:

Case in point: RHB Bank's current account holders were denied access to their accounts between 2am Friday the 13th of April to 6:50pm the same day (the time I received a phone call from their Customer Care Centre) about the system having been fully revived.

I was at the RHB Bank in Precinct 8, Putrajaya today, trying to withdraw some cash from the ATM. Five attempts failed, with the screen each time displaying an transaction error message, while the ATM slips saying "Transaction Denied".

I was frustrated as I was due to get my kids' passport renewed and hence needed the cash. I walked into the branch, and a lady at the last counter smiled at me and enquired if she could be of help.

I explained my situation, and true enough, the failed attempts were attributed to a "technical glitch" on all CA accounts nationwide. But she offered hope when she asked this question:

"Is yours a RHB Islamic account?"

I replied in the affirmative and she said then there should not be a problem But she walked to the backroom, enquired and related the gloom news that RHB Islamic accounts were also caught in the glitch.

"Can I get money out at the home branch in Shah Alam?", I enquired.

She immediately called the branch and after a short conversation said that they still can't honour my cheques at the branch.

Right... I was stumped.

I had money, I had the STM card, the machine worked well, but I cannot access my cash. Not through the ATM, not through the net, and not over the counter either. What was a man with an empty wallet to do?

She said that things should be back to normal "by tonight", but she revealed that their first target was 1:30pm. It was then about 2:20pm, and the system was still glitched.

But the lady - god bless her soul - was very calm, apologetic and helpful. She empathised, and that was some consolation.

I left the branch, and decided to take the kids to Alamanda for some grub. On the way I called the customer care centre.

After manoeuvring through the voice prompted system, I got through to an operator.

"Can you tell me when exactly your CA system will be revived?", I asked.

"I can't say exactly sir, but we think it should be ok tonight", said the voice.

"You already missed the 1:30pm target right? So what assurance do I have that your vague "tonight" target will be met?", I asked further.

Stumped, she asked for me to hold, and came bavck on air to repeat that she couldn't be exact.

"That's ok, I suppose IT issues can be so. But I need a favour. I need this money quick, so can you please call me as soon as the system is up and running?"< I asked hopefully.

"We can't do that sir, because we don't know when it will be up", she replied.

I was getting increasingly annoyed.

"But surely you MUST inform your customers via SMS or a radio announcement that the system is ok... we can't get out money! It's the least you can do!", I said.

After a few more exchanges saying they can't and me saying they must, she took my phone numbers and promised to call.

And the call came in at 6:50pm, much to my surprise actually.

Problem solved, my wallet will be full as soon as I post this, and alls well that ends well.

Technology can be wonderful, but let's back it up with:

- caution
- customer service (RHB did rather well)
- common sense (empathise with the customer; they're yours and you're failing!)

Like Non of LightFM says... "Technology should be as simple as the box it came in".

It can. Just listen and be alert.

Travelling Blues...

2007-04-11T15:02:00.000+08:00

Hello all,

Apologies that I have not updated the blog in almost two weeks, but boy have I been busy (on something I can hopefully share with all soon!).

I was out of the country some time last week, and took these photos...

Any guesses where this is? Properly built five-foot ways bordering construction sites, appropriately attired external building cleaners...

Anyways... that will be a subject I'll blog on these next few days...

Read on comrades...

GSK Clarifies Halal Certificates

2007-03-31T14:25:00.000+08:00

The best thing about blogging is there is no such thing as "we'll go to print at 12 midnight", or, "the taped interview will be done in 3 hours including editing".

It's instantaneous; and with GSK's Za Tahir being so responsive and helpful, it makes us bloggers' life a lot easier. God knows there too much stress going around already!

Za has thanked me for getting the issue to my network, which I must say was just my kids and I, and maybee my fiancee Noraishah and a primary schoolmate Lisa Ashburn. But Jeff Ooi is a brudder to me, so when he found out I was following the case, he linked me.

Thanks bro!

Anyways, here is Za's response; she first apologises for the confusion:

Please accept my apologies for any confusion that might have arose. I am pleased to clarify the miscommunication and would appreciate if you could amend as follows :

" GSK confirm that Ribena products sold in Malaysia are certified halal by JAKIM (Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia). The place of issuance and expiry dates of the halal certificates are as follows. The Muslim Council/Association in Philippines and China are approved by Jakim.
a) Ribena Concentrate & Ready To Drink (RTD) - expires on 30 Sept 2008, issued by JAKIM, Malaysia
b) Sparkling Ribena - expires on 30 Nov 2008, issued by JAKIM, Malaysia
c) Ribena Cheerpack - expires on 12 Feb 2008, issued by Islamic Council, Philippines
d) Ribena RTD PET- expires on 4 Aug 2007, issued by Guangdong Islamic Association, China "

So there you are Muslims! Please be rest assured that these people are toeing the line; I for one am convinced of the Halal status.

Still, as I responded in one of my comments, it is disconcerting that GSK, a multinational of such size and stature conned Aussie and Kiwi consumers. And it happened in a market where I believe consumerism is a major movement.

Still, also as I commented, you can't punish the son for his father's sins.

What's your take?

GSK: We're Open to Independent Testing

2007-03-30T10:44:00.000+08:00

GSK Malaysia's Za Tahir called me up yesterday afternoon, apologising that she was not able to reply to my email earlier. I had asked GSK's position on independent testing of the Vitamin C content of their local and imported Ribena packs, as well as several other issues.

Za was stuck in Putrajaya (for a meeting I presume), and asked if she could "articulate a response" later in the evening. I agreed, and about 7:30pm I received her email.

Excerpts:

FYI, occasionally the Ministry of Health conduct post market surveillance on our products. Hence, we are open to an independent laboratory testing for Ribena.

We confirm that Ribena Concentrate contain the stated levels of Vitamin C, as described on the product label

It is heartening to know that they are not secretive of their products; it is a mark of a consumer driven company, although I speak only of the Malaysian operations. Truth is, no matter how you look at it, the case in New Zealand and Australia may prove to be far more damaging in GSK's other markets. It is a PR nightmare.

It is also interesting to note that the Ministry of Health has conducted tests on Ribena's claimed Vitamin C content.

This article appeared in Sin Chew Jit Poh on March 19th, way before the news became big in Malaysia:

Tanslation as per GSK's email: MOH’s Parliamentary Secretary, Lee Kah Choon, stated that based on his Ministry’s research, Ribena Malaysia’s claim on its level of Vitamin C on the product’s label is accurate.

In his interview with Sin Chew yesterday, he mentioned that Min Of Health (MOH) has not received any report about Ribena in Malaysia containing lesser amount of Vitamin C when compared to what is indicated on the label of the product.

On the other hand, Deputy Minister of Ministry of Domestic Trade and Consumer Affairs said that his ministry will take action according to the research done by Min Of Health.

He also mentioned that if the information on a product’s label is found inaccurate or misleading, his ministry will take action against the company.

Za also attached some newspaper cuttings, which I am pasting here for the benefit of readers.

It seems there is quite a stir on the issue; the company's MD Akhil Chandra also appeared on Astro News on Channel Prima 8 two nights ago, when the story from New Zealand broke.

Singapore's Chinese Press also picked up the story (ZaoBao, March 29, 2007):

Translation as per GSK's email:

AVA Tests Confirm that Ribena Contains Sufficent Vitamin C Content - Agri & Veterinary Authority (AVA) has found that the vitamin C content in Ribena is accurate with its claims that it is 'rich in vitamin C'. According to AVA, for every 200ml there should be 15mg of vitamin C to fulfill that claim and the Ribena here meets that requirement. Also mentioned the NZ court case, the fine and how the case was brought to court in the first place. Article ends with GSK Singapore's assurance that the incident is restricted to NZ's Ribena and in Singapore, the Ribena is not affected and that the vitamin C levels stated on its packaging are accurate.

Now I am asking for readers to help me to get the testing done; if you have access or contacts that can do this for Malaysian consumerism, that'll be great.

HALAL Status
Za also answered my queries on the Halal status of their Ribena products sold in Malaysia.

We confirm that Ribena products sold in Malaysia are certified halal by JAKIM (Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia) with the following expiry dates :

a) Ribena Concentrate & RTD - expires 30 Sept 2008
b) Sparkling Ribena - expires 30 Nov 2008
c) Ribena Cheerpack - expires 12 Feb 2008
d) Ribena RTD PET- expires 4 Aug 2007

I am a bit puzzled though. In my initial conversation with Za on Wednesday, she said that Ribena from the Phillipines is only certified by JAKIM affiliate, Islamic Council of Phillipines. She also confirmed that GSK will not seek JAKIM certification for the product as "JAKIM said it is not necessary".

I hope Za can clarify this; unless items (a) to (d) above are all locally made, there is no issue. But her statement refers to "Ribena products SOLD in Malaysia", which to my understanding would include the SKU from the Phillipines.

Still, this bit of information should appease those at Persatuan Pengguna Islam Malaysia, which in truth, can be a bit over the top at times.

Do you consider the Ribena case closed when we get the independent test done and it is proven that their claims are true? Have you struck off Ribena from your shopping list and instead have decided to force your childfren to eat more broccoli?

Vitamin C DOES NOT Equal Oranges, or Blackcurrants For That Matter

2007-03-29T11:25:00.000+08:00

An anonymous comment left on my immediate previous post on this whole Vitamin C brou-ha-ha reminded me of my marketing school days; that USP that we look for can be so strong that people buy into the USP blindly, forgetting that the very USP we buy a product for may actually be available elsewhere.

GSK positioned that blackcurrants contain more Vitamin C than oranges - this statement alone can be viewed and internalised from many angles. But only two fruits are in this equation; no problem there, and the claim is supported by a weigh-for-weight debate.

But did you realise that Vitamin C is also obtained from your good old spinach, broccoli as well as red and green peppers (yummy!). A Harvard School of Public Health article I found says this:

Excellent food sources of vitamin C are citrus fruits or citrus juices, berries, green and red peppers, tomatoes, broccoli, and spinach.

Left: Harvard School of Public Health Longwood Campus (from Wikipedia)

The article says about 200 to 300mg of the vitamin a day should keep you up and about; the recommended daily allowance of Vitaminc C intake is 75mg (men) and 90mg (women); add 35mg if you're a tobacco fan. With the larger intake - which the article says can be easily achieved with a good diet and a multivitamin - you should be good. No need to go mega-dose.

Full text of this multi-vitamin source article here.

C Gets a D for Cold Management

I was right! For years I told my parents and wives and their parents and countless of other people that have pushed the Vitamin C down my throat at my first sniffle, that it doesn't work for me.

Vitamin C and my cold actually has an opposite effect; it worsens my sniffles! And HSPH more or less verifies my claims (hee hee!). From the same article:

Vitamin C's cold-fighting potential certainly hasn't panned out. Small trials suggest that the amount of vitamin C in a typical multivitamin taken at the start of a cold might ease symptoms, but there's no evidence that megadoses make a difference, or that they prevent colds. Studies of vitamin C and heart disease, cancer, and eye diseases such as cataract and macular degeneration also show no clear patterns.

If you are now drowning yourself in Vitamin C daily, which is flushed through your urine quite easily, what say you if you cut back to the 200 to 300mg range. Maybe put the savings into Lecithin E for cholesterol control?

The ABCs of Marketing

So the case for oranges is not just blackcurrant; its just that blackcurrant juice tastes far better than say red pepper juice or spinach juice. Excellent marketing actually.

Are you getting your USP because it is positioned that way? Or is that USP that you pay for available elsewhere, or even perhaps already on your dining table?

The Ribena Reports: Consumerism to the Fore

2007-03-29T01:41:00.000+08:00

I have decided to pursue this matter further with GSK, following valid comments from visitors to my site.

I have asked GSK to state their stand on several issues, the key one being their openness in allowing an independent laboratory to conduct content tests on the locally and imported ready-to-drink Ribena variants available in Malaysia.

Like you and I, I am sure GSK would like to put this issue to rest as soon as possible so that all parties can move along.

I expect GSK to reply as promptly as they did the first query, for which I thanked them via email. Kudos to them.

We wait... and to kill time, see the picture of the two girls that floored a multinational from a school lab in this story.

Australian and New Zealand Vitamin C lack quality?
Well, you might think so if you read the story in the link above; "the problem arose when Ribena in Australia and New Zealand was left on shop shelves for too long, causing the vitamin C to degrade".

I was never that good in science, but what I am reading in that statement is despite GSK's obvious size, it does not mean that it practices the same manufacturing processes and use the same good raw materials for all of its plants worldwide. Good to know though, that based on the statement GSK made in Malaysia, that Ribena in Malaysia passed the test with flying colours.

Further proof perhaps, pending GSK's response to my email, is this article from Singapore. Apparently, the island-state's Agri-food & Veterinary Authority (AVA) has conducted tests and found that Ribenas sold on the island is "high in vitamin C". All the Ribenas there come from either Malaysian or Filipino plants.

AVA's standards prescribe that the label "Rich in Vitamin x" can only be used if a fruit juice contains a minimum of 15mg of the said vitamin per 200ml of the juice.

Ribena Is Not Alone?
But contrast that to a claim by scientist in New Zealand that all juices, not just Ribena, damage the vitamin C that is added to the drinks through the manufacturing and packing process.

"Christchurch School of Medicine researcher Margaret Vissers said yesterday she was surprised Ribena had been singled out because all packaged fruit juices suffered from a loss of vitamin C through processing and storage".

Vissers reckons the sterilisation process in pre-packaged drinks are part of the reason, and says the best bet is to get vitamin C from fruits. Blackcurrants or oranges? Hmmm...

Meanwhile, there's a PDF file on Ribena here which is very informative.

Did you know:

* In 1998, Ribena relaunched itself with a higher Vitamin C count,doubling its previous formulation
* Ribena’s name is derived from Ribes Negrum, the Latin name for blackcurrants

More of such data from the PDF file.

There are many claims in this piece, which I am sure is authenticated.

GSK Consumer Healthcare: Vitamin C Content in Ribena in Malaysia Is As Claimed

2007-03-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

As promised, GSK Malaysia has made an official statement. The email is from Azariah Tahir, the statement is by her boss.

Encik Amir,
Thank you for your email and please find below as requested.

GSK MALAYSIA GIVES ASSURANCE ON VITAMIN C LEVELS IN RIBENA

As reported in the press, GlaxoSmithKline Consumer Healthcare in New Zealand (GSK-CH) has accepted charges brought by the New Zealand Commerce Commission (NZCC) and has given undertakings to the Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) with regards to potentially misleading advertising statements and low levels of Vitamin C in some Ribena Ready-to-Drink products manufactured for the Australia and New Zealand markets.

GSK Malaysia has conducted thorough laboratory testing of Vitamin C levels in Ribena. This testing has confirmed that Ribena in Malaysia contain the stated levels of Vitamin C, as described on product labels. GSK would like to reassure its consumers in Malaysia that the issues discussed with the ACCC and NZCC only affects certain Ribena products in Australia and New Zealand.

Ribena has been a favourite with Malaysian consumers for over 48 years (since 1959) years and we would like to reassure our consumers that thorough laboratory testing has confirmed that vitamin C levels in Malaysia are as stated on the label.

GlaxoSmithKline - a leading healthcare company worldwide – maintains stringent quality control of its products. It has an important portfolio of phamaceuticals and consumer healthcare products, including oral care, Over-The-Counter (OTC) medicines, nutritional beverages and vitamins, and is committed to improving the quality of human life allowing people to do more, feel better and live longer. For further information, visit http://www.gsk.com.my.

Issued by:

Akhil Chandra
Managing Director, Malaysia & Singapore
GSK Consumer Healthcare

Ribena Has Vitamin C? Si senor...

2007-03-28T10:56:00.000+08:00

Imagine my surprise when I opened screenshots this morning to find my favourite drink, Ribena - well, the manufacturers, really - being labeled a liar, much like us Malaysian bloggers. Sheesh... I thougt I had to investigate, as Aishah, Khadijah and I love the stuff! I even promo the stuff when people say I don't look my age, "It's the Ribena dude..." would be my immediate reply.

From www.gsk.com.my:Ribena was first made in the 30s using blackcurrants and has since become one of the most popular drinks around today. During World War II, it was used as a dietary supplement for Vitamin C.
Ribena now comes in a variety of flavours, but blackcurrant is without a doubt everyone’s favourite and contains four times as much vitamin C as oranges. It is a natural beverage containing no artificial flavour, colouring or sweeteners. In fact Ribena ToothKind, which was launched in 1998, is the only drink accredited by the British Dental Association and has been proven to help maintain healthy teeth.

History to the case: A group of schoolgirls on a science project discovered that the content of Vitamin C in Ribena was untraceable. Reuters story here.

So I located a Ms Azariah Tahir of GSK (GlaxoSmithKline) in Malaysia; I called, she was engaged but I left a number. But Azariah called within 5 minutes, and we spoke.

Azariah said the case Jeff Ooi was referring to on his blog screenshots was a case strictly isolated to Ribena products in New Zealand AND AUSTRALIA (which is information we didn't know at that point).

She assured me that Malaysian Ribena products which are manufactured here in Malaysia "contain the Vitamin C contents that is claimed on the labels".

Azariah's statement matches that of a spokesperson quoted in the Reuters report:

"GSK has conducted thorough laboratory testing of Vitamin C levels in Ribena in all other markets," the spokeswoman said.

"This testing has confirmed that Ribena drinks in all other markets, including the UK, contain the stated levels of Vitamin C, as described on product labels

This is reassuring to know as I must admit that I would not expect such a case to happen in consumer-driven and consumer-sensitive markets like Australia. This is a country where you cannot bring in opened cans of baby formula when you fly in for god's sake!

And they get hoodwinked by a multi-national no less!

But the core issue now is that it raises some concern on how consumers can be hoodwinked. How sure can you be sure that the claimed content is as claimed? Should there be a body that takes this crusade? Is there such a body? Is the Ministry of Domestic Trade & Consumer Affairs on to this?

Meanwhile, a source told me that the advertisements in Australia and New Zealand has been withdrawn since, and that they will no longer make refeence to the VitC content. Err... what's your USP again?

While she was on the phone, I asked her about the Halal certification of the Ribena products from the Philippines, after a brou-ha-ha over the case some months back.

Azariah said:

"JAKIM has made some amendments to their requirements. You see, the Philippine Ribena is certified Halal by the Islamic Council of Philippines (ICP), and the ICP is listed on the JAKIM website as an affiliate of the Malaysian authority".

I asked on whether GSK Malaysia will still seek the JAKIM certificate.

"It's not necessary anymore. JAKIM said it is not necessary as ICP is affiliated to them."

Works for me.

But for the New Zealand market, opinions say that consumers may yet have the final say despite the fine imposed on the New Zealand company for making false accusations on the VitC content and the comparo on VitC content between oranges and blackcurrants.

NOTE: AZARIAH WILL ISSUE A STATEMENT TO ME; I WILL ADD THIS VERBATIM UPON RECEIPT.

Money May Buy Technology, But Not Brains... Duh!

2007-03-20T19:16:00.000+08:00

Did you hear of the woman who attempted to drive her RM700k Mercedes SL500 into through a ford - a place where a river or other body of water is shallow enough to be crossed by wading - and ended up almost drowning herself?

Well now you have!

Sheepy Magna's location (centre left)
In Leicester shire, England, a woman identified only as Hayley was driving using a satellite navigation system to a christening party, and passed through a farm.

On a winding part of the journey, she missed a sign that said "UNSUITABLE FOR MOTOR VEHICLES". She was actually trusting her sat-nav which led her to the road, which was more suitable for 4x4s.

Anyway, Hayley drove on, and reached a ford in Sheepy Magna (another duh!) village. Deciding that the sat-nav was the final word on directions, she drove into the ford.

What the sat-nav failed to inform the driver was that it had been raining in good ol' Sheepy Magna for days, and the ford in the river aptly called Sense, was swollen.

The lovely car careened a distance of 600 yards downstream, bouncing off both sides of River Sense along the way. Hayley who hails from London was frantically trying to escape but presumably the doors wouldn't open due to the pressure.

The Merc finally ran aground somewhere along the river, and villager Alice Clark, 24, who owned a stable nearby rescued her.

Miss Clark said she heard cries for help, and saw Hayley trying to open the door.

‘I waded in to the chest-deep water using a log as a buoyancy aid. Just as I reached her, the electrics (in the car) went, causing the windows to open and even more water started gushing in", said Miss Clark.

She herself risked being swept away by the currents, and held on to some barbed wire attached to the bank and a log.

‘Luckily she was not a big girl so I desperately hauled her through the window into the river. Seconds later, the car became completely submerged as it filled with water," she added.

Miss Clark’s boyfriend then drove the woman to a motorway service station, when later a chauffeur-driven Bentley collected her.

The incident happened on March 3, but the ill-fated (or dumbo-owned) Merc called River Sense home for a week before a tow-truck pulled it out.

My personal take on it? Sat-nav's good, but grey matter counts. Hopefully Hayley will have more sense given that she swam in it. One thing though; she choose a nice river to get caught in. Go to this link and you'll see what I mean... http://philmorris.blogphotography.com/archives/2544_1111104791/211636

So, anybody else with a sat-nav but not much else out there? Identify yourself please; I have a tip where you can buy a Mercedes Benz SL500 real cheap...

The SL500 (from DaimlerChrysler's website)

STORY SOURCE: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=442730&in_page_id=1770&in_page_id=1770&expand=true#StartComments

CULTURE ISN’T ABOUT WHAT YOU WEAR IN THE SKIES DUDE!

2007-03-14T20:48:00.000+08:00

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN FREESPACE IN THE SUN

Wikipedia defines culture (partly) as patterns of human activity and the symbolic structures that give such activity significance. Acceptable I’d say, but in a pluralistic society like Malaysia, is there one single Malaysian culture?

Quite unlikely.

Each race in this country has its own set of cultures and beliefs, passed on from generation to generation. Some hold on steadfastly to the values, some apply them on occasion, and still some totally abstain. Strangely, as I see it anyway, while a modern person may not necessarily live the culture, he or she is likely to defend it to the death.

A burger-gobbling, pop-drinking and fashionable Malay, Chinese, Indian, Kadazan etc. may yet argue till blue in the face that his or her traditional values should not be impeded for any reason. Try telling the above-described Malaysian that he or she can no longer wear kebaya/cheongsam/saree for whatever reason, and the uproar will be louder than the protests on the toll hikes.

My point?

Recently, Malaysian Youth Council President Shamsul Anuar Nasarah voiced his displeasure that stewardesses on Asia’s most successful low-cost carrier, AirAsia were not dressed to “project our culture”. The dressing was just one example, according to the news report. There are other issues that the council takes exception with, although there were no details.

Dude, what is our culture, when it comes to dressing? And before you say baju kurung, I’m referring to a culture that denotes all the races that make up the fabric of Malaysian society.

Perhaps what you meant to say was hostesses should not be wearing skirts, instead wearing kebaya like the ones on the national carrier. In other words, be Malay la.

Right… now won’t the Chinese, the Indians, the Kadazans, the Muruts and the rest be offended that this Malaysian carrier does not reflect their culture?

I find calls such as the one by Shamsul insensitive. From a cultural point of view, as I have explained, there is no such thing as one identifiable Malaysian culture (boy, am I setting myself up for a backlash here!).

There are other ways AirAsia can promote culture, although the astute businessman Datuk Tony Fernandes is, he’ll know that his core business is budget air travel, and not fashion.

Skirt-clad stewardesses may not be a cultural representation of Malaysia, but neither is it wrong. Should other Malaysian brands be tasked with promoting local culture? Should PROTONs have songket-woven interiors? Should the KLIA be shaped like a mosque? Should the international road entry points have spear-wielding guards instead of gun-toting law enforcers?

So while the outfit of AirAsia’s hostesses may not necessarily be Malaysian, it’s not wrong either is it? If you ask me, pitted against a tight kebaya or a saree or a cheongsam, the skirt’s functional. Still, I’d venture to guess a hostess wearing pants will probably run faster than those in a tight skirt but I don’t own the airline.

What I wear will not decide my culture. Me wearing hipster baggy jeans with an oversized t-shirt that screams “Yo brudder wassup!”, complete with some bling-bling won’t make me less Malay, or Malaysian. It will make me less associated with a local culture yes, but in no way does that make me any less a Malaysian – or cultured - for that matter.

I live and breathe my culture, even though I’m in a two-piece suit at work, listen to Nat King Cole and Al Jarreau for my entertainment and enjoy that hearty steak once in a while. My soul, I assure you, is Malaysian.

Good luck Malaysia.

Fatherhood: My Best Moment in Life

2007-03-09T13:21:00.000+08:00

One of my greatest memories of fatherhood is the moment you first hold your child after he or she is born. I remember my two experiences well, and up to this day, I can still feel the warmth of the baby, as well as the warmth of the moment.

On May 3rd 1994, I became a first-time father, after my then-wife delivered Siti Aishah. If I am not mistaken it was about 7am when she finally decided to "appear", albeit through the c-section; her mom was already on the bed a good 36 hours earlier.

AISHAH in 2004>>>

When the nurse came out with the proverbial bundle of joy, I wept a tear of joy. As she handed the baby to me, I moved my arms to make the "cradle" that Romario made famous at the 1994 World Cup, and that was the moment.The moment when that warmth of a body that lay for nine months in a womb, floating and growing through the powers of Allah, connects with you.

At that moment, I was overcome with joy, looking down towards this tiny being I held. Her name was immediately given as it was decided by her parents and my in-laws. I remember speaking to her, as I do to all babies.

I told her something along the lines of how proud I was feeling that day, and that she was a highly-anticipated baby. During the trimesters, we spoke to Aishah in the womb, we read Koranic verses, we gave her a listen to Nat King Cole and Harvey Malaiholo. We'd been shopping, like any other would-be parent too. And the perennial issue of a boy or a girl, thus predictably blue or pink!

AISHAH IN 2005>>>

As her mother stayed at home, I took it upon me to feed her at night. It was our moment; we bonded as I sang to her as she gulped down her Morinaga Formula. I spoke always to her, about life and the way of the world. Aishah was one of those good babies; rarely did she keep us awake unnecessarily at night.

Today Aishah is nearing 13. Boy how time flew!

I am very proud of Aishah, as despite her tender age, she has at times showed the maturity of an adult older than that. Other times she is just as any other 13 year old trying to make her mark among her peers and family; trying to be independent and show a character that she can call her own.

One of the most distinct characters in Aishah is her ability to mimic voices, and act. She is said to be a tremendous singer too by her friends, but she refuses to sing for ayah! Her talent in performing arts could take her places, but then again I'm her father so I may be biased!

AISHAH IN 2007 (top), and 2006 (bottom)

Then there is Siti Khadijah. Born on March 18th 1996, Khadijah was also named after one of Prophet Muhammad's (SAW) wives.

<<< KHADIJAH IN 2005

Again, that warm feeling as I held her close in my arms caused a tear to fall. Even deeper, because I almost didn't get to see this baby when my lungs collapsed while she was still a foetus in her mummy's womb, some four months to her arrival.

Like Aishah, as a baby Khadijah was a charm; never troubled us with long nights. She gobbled her Morinaga, although she noticeably drank less than Aishah.

Khadijah turns 11 soon, and like her sister, has also displayed a maturity beyond her age. She has a quiet nature, and her most endearing side is her laughter, which is rather infectious.

<<< KHADIJAH IN 2006

Being the younger of the two, Khadijah does seek more attention! I hope they both understand that as a father, I must love equally, and I do.

For all that both Aishah and Khadijah are, I love them. Like any child, they get into their fair share of troubles, but that is part of growing up. I've always told them that as long as you admit your mistakes, learn from them, apologise and move on, you should be ok.

Aishah once said to me, "If people don't fight they will not get to know each other better right?"

It amazed me that she said that, when she was 10 or 11, just as Khadijah amazed me when she noted that everything these days was "Made in China". The little one was barely 9, and she noted that everything she had, "even the stuff Tok Ma brings from Australia" actually came from China!

KHADIJAH IN 2007 (ABOVE, TOP), AND 2006

To Aishah and Khadijah, please know that while Ayah may not be physically there for you, as I only get to see you for two days of every fourteen days of your lives, you are always in my thoughts. You are always referred to as "my rock" among my friends, for that is what you both are.

AISHAH, ME & KHADIJAH

In my times of crisis or sadness, you are the rock that anchors me, and the joy that soothes my heart. That will never change. I love you both dearly; thank you for making fatherhood a rewarding experience for me.

Ramblings I

2007-03-08T18:53:00.000+08:00

Oh I weep,
Drip, drip, drip...

The world walks by,
Oblivious as if I was a mere fly,
Pesky and a nuisance,
Despite knowledge that God made me...

No I cry not for attention thee...
I cry to speak to the soul.

Speak to the soul through God they whisper?
I know...

But tears cleanses my soul,
After which words I collate,
For God to listen and contemplate.

Far and wide I see the world,
Though none offer me,
I bid the time imposed,
For as nature dictates,
What is here will be nowhere in time.

I listen well,
To God; he speaks well.

Of heaven and hell,
Can't you tell, in which thy to dwell?

The Service Double Whammy

2007-03-05T18:30:00.000+08:00

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN FREESPACE IN THE SUN

Right: The magnificent PETRONAS Twin Towers: Can our service levels reach high?

My first piece on Freespace, back in the middle of 2006, talked about customer service, or the lack of it in Malaysia. It is now Visit Malaysia Year 2007, and I sure hope that people in the service industry have taken appropriate measures to up their service levels.

But I’m not going to preach the importance of the service quality. Instead, I will detail two separate incidents; one that happened in front of me, and the other I overheard at a Starbucks near my place of work.

In my piece True Towering Malaysians on Freespace last month, I told the story of the dinner honouring Malaysia’s best humanitarians. On that same night, I witnessed a waiter spilling coffee on a foreign guest, just one table away from the Prime Minister.

I was at the rostrum, and from about 15 metres I watched how the offending waiter kept wiping the spilled coffee off the guest’s jacket. The guest, still in shock, was trying to understand I’m sure what had happened and what the panicking waiter was up to.

So I quickly summoned one of the ballroom captains, who was merely looking on at the whole incident, and I said, “Can you please go over there and apologise to the guest, and offer to get his jacket dry-cleaned? The guy is practically being beaten up there!”

The captain did as I suggested, and the waiter stopped “beating” the guest. I’m not sure if my attempt at what marketers call “service recovery” worked, but the opportunity was there to be seized.

Right, that was the first incident.

The Starbucks incident wasn’t so much a coffee-spilling incident, but a true record of how service recovery came into play.

As I do almost every morning, I order my caramel hot chocolate from the outlet. As I waited for my order on morning earlier this year, I saw a barista (a Starbucks crew) chatting with a male customer also waiting for his order. There is nothing unusual here; this scenario is witnessed in almost every Starbucks outlets I have been to.

After the customer left, another barista came in and said to the first barista that he seemed particularly close to the customer.

“You see, we have a history, the customer and I…” he said.

“History?” asked his co-worker.

“Yup. A few months ago I spilled coffee on the man’s wife!” he replied.

The guys spills coffee on a man’s wife and yet there they were, chatting away happily. I guarantee you that some form of service recovery occurred following the coffee spill that helped the customer decide that the incident was an honest mistake, and that he would still patronise Starbucks.

For Starbucks, it’s a customer retained, and in these days of cut-throat competition, a customer retained could be the difference between opening a new outlet and closing an existing one.

If you are in the service industry, have you ever been presented with such service recovery opportunities? Be honest. Have you never got an order wrong? Did the dry-cleaning get damaged by an under-trained staff? Did the defects in the house you built shout louder than the house itself?

The bigger question is, did you seize the opportunity?

Remember that the customer is king, and just like a friend, losing them is much easier than making them. Making them feel appreciated and letting them know that their patronage means a lot to you will not kill you. It will benefit you.

Keep your customers well. Your biggest failing may not necessarily the service error you make, but perhaps the failure to exercise service recovery; the classic Double Whammy.

Good luck Malaysia.

Al-Fatihah

2007-02-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

There is certainty, thus good, in death, that in

the death of a life, those left behind all eventually have

to move forward to live their lives; in the death of a business

deal new ones have to forged for sustenance; in the death of a

relationship both parties move on after a period of pain & despair.

Mankind is built to seek happiness - the pursuit of pleasure & the avoidance

of pain - and thus everything will take the course nature intended.

Pain matures you, although at times it may seem improbable.

But the truth is, tribulations that doesn't kill you will make

you a better person. Those that kill you brings you to

death, which as I have explained, is good. Peace.

- RB Amero, February 2007

My fiancee's father - hence my future father-in-law - passed away suddenly on the evening of February the 8th, 2007. The passing of Mohd Nasir bin Mohd Khalid at the age of 59 was sudden, as most deaths are in my own experience.

Although I first considered a relationship with his daughter Noraishah in January 2005, I had only met him in 2006, as he was divorced from Aishah's mother. So I had a very brief relationship with this man. Still, I will remember him as a soft-spoken man with a very pleasing smile, who had a zest for life, especially the outdoors.

He loved speed I think, for he has a collection of big bikes that he and his son Johan shared a passion for. He was always on a cruise with his superbiker friends, usually crossing borders with their two wheelers. He enjoyed this activity despite suffering from arthritis, which affected his hands.

I remember my first meeting with him, and his wife Rosalind, when they were living in SS2 PJ. He was very warm towards me, and he chatted with me and made me very comfortable in a setting usually remembered for cold sweats and stuttering conversations.

Noraishah, being the first daughter (but second child to Allahyarham Nasir) was very close to him. She fondly calls him Papa Bear I think, the cuddly type of dad that you'd love to hug!

May Allah SWT bless his soul, and place him among the righteous in Jannah. To Johan, Jihan, Laila and of course Noraishah, your prayers are what counts now. I share the grief of your loss as it were my own.

REVIVAL ATTEMPT; AGAIN

2007-02-13T19:54:00.000+08:00

SUNSETS... HOPE FOR SUNRISE

So here I go trying to revive my blog again... fingers crossed...

How I Became A Multi-Millionaire

2006-07-28T14:24:00.000+08:00

THIS ARTICLE FIRST APPEARED IN FREESPACE IN THE SUN

Who wants to be a millionaire? (Err... do I look like a millionaire here?) Ahh, I see about 25 million hands up here, so I tell you now the story of how I became a millionaire, a few times over at that.

The first rule of becoming a millionaire is believing that you can indeed be a millionaire; that it is not the domain of those with millionaire lineage or with a self-owned business. After all, I have lived and read enough to see millionaire families ending up as paupers, and businessmen working hard and merely earning enough to keep the minimum credit card payments fulfilled.

By the way, that rule also means that coming from a millionaire family and hard work at a self-owned business is one of many ways to become a millionare. This must be made clear, lest I offend the millionaire families and the hard-working self-made millionaire.

The second rule is believing in luck, which is how yours truly became a millionaire.

I'm new at this though, as I officially became a millionaire on Monday, May 29th 2006. Yes, it was that recent.

My luck came when I "won" GBP1.5m (RM10.05m at RM6.70=GBP1.00) at the UK National Lottery's Special Draw for Non-UK Citizens. My last trip to the UK was in January 2005, when I stayed in Bath for a night, then in London for another. To the best of my memory, I don't recall buying a lottery ticket while I was there, for my luck was showing at a different kind of game - love - but that's as story for another day.

On that fateful May day, an email notified me that I had won this amount of money, and I was the happiest man on the universe! Ten million smackeroos! I was already making a call to my portfolio manager, long frustrated with my RM1.00-and-below IPO strategy.

But my lucky millionaire cruise was only in middle gear, as a second email came in, which notified me that I had won AU$400,ooo.00 (RM1.08m at RM2.70=AU$1.oo) in the Australian National Lottery! The place called Down Under was making me feel mighty Up Above!

Man, and this was good, as I love going to Australia. It's a modern, clean and efficient country that to me encapsulates a place to live in. So with this newfound cash, I can now build a comfy little abode there for my kids to stay when they pursue their education Down Under.

The Australian National Lottery was organised by the National Australian Lottery Inc., and I had no reason whatsoever to doubt them. After all, the email carried the name of Australian Prime Minister John Howard! (Ok, Aussies may have a thing or two to say about that last sentence...).

RM11m and counting...!

Good things come in threes? Yep, I will attest to that, as the wonder of the world wide web also led me to an email sent in from Ghana, where a certain bank made more money than it expected. US$3 million to be exact! And all I have to do is admit that it was me that originally deposited the money there, and then the money can be sent into another account.

I would pocket 20% of the "extra" funds, which would be US$600,000 (RM2.19m at RM3.65 to US$1.00).

Interestigly, the Australian organisers share the same Board of Directors with the UK ones, although there was no mention of Tony Blair's name on the English side. And the winnings of the UK lottery was to be collected via their agent in South Africa!

So there you are. The story of how I made more than RM13m through sheer luck!

Heard all these con stories before? So have I, and yet you may also hear of people falling for these confidence tricksters again and again. And again. Ouch!

Be careful; it's a dangerous world out there. I know. Ouch!!

"First Day at School" Memories

2006-01-07T14:44:00.000+08:00

As always, while waiting for my turn to present the business news segment of Astro News, I'll watch the general news segment, which comes on before me.

And it was the first day of school for 2006, and the customary report on the big event was there. It brought back so many memories of my experience being the first-day student and the first-day parent.

^^ Khadijah with her schoolmates in 2006

About 6 years ago, I had my first experience in sending my first-born to school. The same experience was repeated some 2 years after that, when my second-born was enrolled.

Both went through the "ordeal" - as it was for some of us - with flying colours; of course, both had been in school since they were 3 years old. Aishah & Khadijah enjoyed the socialising and learning, the parties, the games, the music sessions, oh... and of course the concerts.

My own pre-school concert graduation was a big hoo haa. I was supposed to mimic playing a guitar, and I was supposed to bring my own. As much as I begged my parents to buy one, it didn't seem that it would happen.

Aishah with her mates, also in 2006 -->

It was a big thing for me; I was going to be in front of all these people "showing off" my "talent"! So I was visibly upset that the guitar was not forthcoming; like most wide-eyed child at that stage, the anticipation was too much.

I went to bed on the eve of the concert feeling rather low; my big day would not happen.

My mom woke me the next day, rushing me to get ready.

"You don't want to miss the concert do you?", she smiled. "Look by the bed", she whispered.
And there it was, a gleaming, spanking brand new plastic guitar, that came in a box that was oddly-shaped to fit the guitar! There was a carricature of a boy playing with it on the box.

I was understandably ecstatic! Even the fact that it was white on top and reddish pink at the bottom (!) didn't matter!

Wait a minute... boy, have I digressed!

Anyway, my first day of school was of course a biggie. I of course shared the experience with my twin sister Wati.

We must've put on the uniform so many times in the days preceeding the first day! The anticipation was thrilling...

So when the day came, we got up, donned our baju sekolah, brought our red and black tartan school bag that was all the rave back then down to the breakfast table and sat down for a feast prepared ny mom.

Dad would always be offering us anchovies from his fried rice, as we loved them. This was a practice back from the kindergarten days; my sister an I would be playing in the side garden, and dad would call out saying, "Mood, Wati... ikan bilis!"

We'd rush in to see who'd get the one dangled by dad, but as always, my dad in his infinite wisdom would have 2 anyway.

So back to the first day in primary school.

We hopped into dad's blue Ford Escort 1.1GL (I think), bearing the registration WB 5415. And I remember very vividly as we turned the corner left on to Jalan Utara from Jalan Semangat in PJ, my mom turning to us in the back seat.

"Wah... anak mama first time pergi sekolah ya?", she said.

We smiled and nodded in cursory agreement. I can't really recall fear of the day really. Perhaps the Jack & Jill Kindergarten stint, and seeing my 3 elder siblings off daily helped.

Hmm... now that I think about it, how did they get to school that day?

It was an eventful day for me. REALLY eventful!

I met a girl, who turned out to be a neighbour, named Siti Salwa Md Jan. Man, was she a sight for sore eyes! (Yes, I hear the choruses now: "Man! You started early didn't you?")

At some point that day, I decided she was the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with.

So I tore out a piece of paper from a note book, and scribbled these words:

Dia Siti, Will you mary me?

Yes I did, spelling mistakes notwithstanding.

I did pass her the note, either directly or through a friend or my twin. I can't for the life of me remember what her answer was though.

But we became friends. My siblings, who went to the same school, were already friends with her siblings, and we lived liked 600 metres apart, so it was natural.

The last time I met her parents was at a Pasar Tani in Kelana Jaya in 1999, She wasn't married then! Hmmm...

When my children had their first day in school, nobody proposed to them though. Phew!

Aishah's first year was in Assunta Primary, where her mom went. I think I was more excited than she was! She became immediately popular as she was a very talkative girl, and still is to this day, a quality I admire in her.

When her mom moved to Putrajaya, she moved on to SK Putrajaya 1.

Khadijah was enrolled in SKP1 from the start, and she too had little problems on the first day.

This year, Aishah is in the final primary year, and will be sitting for her UPSR. I've advised her to try her best for her own future. I have little doubt she'd have a wonderful future, whatever the outcome of her UPSR is.

I'll love you the same Aishah, 5As or 5Ds, I'll love you the same for you are my daughter, both the good and the not-so-good qualities about you.

That goes to you too Dijah. As long you try your best, I'll be giving you both as many As as you want!

( )

2006-01-03T12:32:00.000+08:00

It is now the third day of 2006, there'll be another 362 days of the year for us to go through, InsyaAllah.

I ushered in the new year grappling with an issue of love and relationship; over the most-widely used communication of the 21st century (SMS), my friend and me fought over the right to love silently, the right to long for love, and the right to leave love be.

It makes me sad that LOVE, the universal bond between all inhabitants of this earth, is now a cause for discontentment between us. The effect of the argument is dramtically embellished by the ushering of the New Year, that was to happen about 24 hours from the time the argument began.

There is definite friction, yet there is clearly affection; strangely, and this has been said and noted several times before by other people, it is love, it is affection, it is care that can lead to friction.

There is a way to come to an amicable solution; God promised us that.

Perhaps in time it will prevail, as love always prevail. Always.

Here Comes 2006

2005-12-25T15:29:00.000+08:00

A new year beckons, but unlike in previous years, I am this year very sentimental as 2006 approaches.

I've lived 36 years. It has been an eventful 36 years, I can tell you that much. If you read my 35th year entries (35 and 35 (add)), it has had a good share of joy and sorrow, much like any other beings.

Still, for some reason, 2006 is like a corner for me. By October 2006, I'll be 37 years old.

I'll be 7 years behind my goal of financial independence by 30; it'll be 7 years from my first divorce, 3 years from my second; my darling daughters would be 12 and 10 respectively; the list goes on and on.

I was going through a multitude of what-ifs yesterday, as I lazed around the house. What if I's stayed married the first time? What if I didn't go ahead with the second marriage when she called it off 45 days to the event? What if I'd taken that job offer at the then Arab Malaysian? What if I'd taken that offer to return to acting? What if I's stayed on at ntv7? What if I had gone ahead with the cybercafe plans?

I didn't go through these feelings because I was unhappy; I was just trying to see if there were answers to these questions. Apparently not.

But many times I reminded myself that no matter what decision I took at whatever point in my life, it was today that mattered.

Today i.e. what worldly possessions I have (and therefore how I chose to deal with these possessions), what spiritual strength I have, what environment that I operate within, both socially, professionally and personally.

And each of these "todays" had its own list of items and sub-items a gazillion item long.

But each of them had a link.

And the one single link was Allah SWT.

Listen.

What I am today is through the blessings of Allah. What I have today is through the blessings of Allah. What I don't have today is also through the blessings of Allah, as He knows best.

I asked myself, perhaps for the FIRST time in my adult life; how many of the things that I have done have been because of Allah?

In Islam, you must do everything because of Allah. And thus if you fear Allah's wrath, you will not do things that He dislikes, and performs all that he likes.

The answer, unfortunately, is not many.

As a child I remember vividly of my fascination of His power. I remember looking at raindrops falling on the very large verandah at our home in Taman Aman PJ.

To me the rain was an awesome show of power by God. With that power was actually grace. For we all know what will happen if we do not have water.

I always looked in awe of the rising and setting sun; and the way the light bounces of the huge sky to create a colour play so fascinating that no work of art could ever replicate, or even come close to replicating.

I must go back to that feeling of awe. I must realise again, that I exist because if Him, and I must not feel that I am here because of any otehr reason but His grace.

I'll get there insyaAllah.

Inspiring People

2005-12-14T19:10:00.000+08:00

Some years ago I watched a movie alled Patch Adams, mainly attracted to it because the lead actor was Robin Williams. Williams is one of the most gifted actors in the world, and if you read up about him, he is also a great man.

Anyway, for the benefit of those who's never watched the movie, Patch Adams tells of a medical student's unorthodox ways of treating patients. In the domain of doctors, their practices are considered holy, and their opinions are considered visionary.

Much like the Williams himself, Patch is a comedian. A man so funny and happy that on his student transcript, an envious dean noted he was "excessively happy".

But because of his unorthodox ways (like wearing a red nose patch when treating patients, like treating an elderly woman who refused to eat by swimming with her in a pool of spaghetti!), he was frowned upon by several members of the staff, fellow students and nurses.

Patch says it was not the field that was was uncomfortable with his demeanour, but personalities within the field.

While studying, he opened a little ranch (with the help of a benefactor I think), where much like a soup kitchen, people can just walk in for food, treatment or just company. He had several fellow students and his girlfriend who joined him.

When it was discovered (i.e. practising without a licence), he was to be dismissed from university. This despite the fact that he was a top student. He of course fought the dismissal through an Appeal Board.

At the sitting, he defended his "practice". I sum up his defence:

"If making someone feel better and healthier is "treating" a patient, then I am guilty as charged. But the people who come to the ranch are both patients and doctors. They were patients if they came for treatment, they were doctors if they just stayed to help out."

Why did Patch see things this way?

"When did doctors cross the line from being people who are supposed to help others, to people who treat diseases? Treat the disease and you'll either win or lose. Treat the patient sir, and you'll win. All the time."

He graduated of course, and continues to practice the Patch Adams way.

Why is he inspiring?

How many of us work because it pays the bills? How many of us do things because we have to do it and not because we have a passion for doing it?

Do we conform, because its safe, or dare we challenge the norm despite risks?

Patch Adams inspired more than 1,000 doctors to put their names on his Gesundheit Hospital volunteer list. These doctors volunteered to leave their current practices, their safety nets to do work the Patch Adams Way.

A man who inspires these doctors to break the mould must be special.

Be a Patch Adams.

Enjoy Your Wedded Life, Kevin & Dessy

2005-12-12T10:23:00.000+08:00

Last night I attended a wedding of a new acquaintance of mine; Kevin Barnaby Fernandez, who married his long time girlfriend Dessy, an Indonesian.

This entry is merely to extend further my well wishes to the bride and groom, who both lokked resplendent last night.

My first meeting with Kevin was "on-air"... when he first started to present the general news segment of Astro News. While we both go on-air at the same time, we never got to see each other as we work in different studios.

But my colleague and best friend Sheahnee Lee recognised the guy on tv, as they were classmates at KDU, and spent time also in Perth when they did their final year there.

Shen tells me then, that Kev was dating an Indonesian girl he met on orientation night in their first semester at KDU. Apparently it was Shen who drove Dessy to the dinner, and in fact, in the beginning Kev was not up to going to the dinner.

I finally met Kev, by chance, at the Istana Hotel's Musictheque, when I braved myself to enter a journo talentime. Des was also there.

Met him a few more times in Astro when he came in for some official business, and chatted for a bit.

He is as genuine as they come; he is a warm fella, a bundle of laughs and I came out of the meeting feeling he was the sort of guy your mom would approve. The dependable type.

As Kev and Des walked towards the stage at the ballroom, it was clear that they were a loving couple, and they both looked wonderful on their wedding day. Sheahnee was right; they were a match made in heaven.

Kev and Dessy, as you honeymoon in my choice honeymoon venue of Mauritius, my wishes of prosperity and joy accompany you, and I am sure the hundreds of family members that witnessed your wedding offer the same.

May your lives be blessed with the joy that a union brings, and may God bestow upon the both of you the wisdom to deal with the trials and tribulations, and joys and laughter that lie ahead.

Thank you for having me at your wedding.

Two Women I Am Proud To Be Associated With

2005-12-01T21:06:00.000+08:00

About mid morning, my Celcom line rang. It was an unfamiliar number.

As a rule, I don't answer calls from numbers I don't recognise. But something about this number called to me.

"Hello", I said.

"Hello Encik Amir", said the voice on the other line.

"Yes...", I said, still unable to place the voice.

"Well I'm from FlyFM and I'm calling to say that your daughter Aishah has won 2 tickets to the premier screening of The Fog. But I need your identity card number as she doesn't have one", said the caller.

I'm like at this point ecstatic that Aishah had won a prize on radio; her father has won numerous prizes on radio. Some of the luck has rubbed off to her!

But the caller went on, this time raving about Aishah.

"Your daughter is SO well-spoken for an 11 year old. She is well-mannered, and has good telephone manners", she went on.

"In fact I'm gonna call her again to chat one day, and also to record what she says and run them as promos!".

Hah!

It may only be tickets to a movie (which she can't watch as she's under-aged). But I'm mighty proud of her.

You see, she had always been shy when it comes to speaking to waiters or shopkeepers. She'd always shy away, when I tell her to ask for extra sauce, or to check on our order at a restaurant.

So her calling the station in itself was a step in the right direction for her. A big step!

Winning was a bonus.

I am proud of her. She's been through so much in her onl 11 years of life. In her own way, she has shown maturity that always envelopes my heart with a warmth only a daughter can give.

The other woman I'm proud to be associated with is Siti Khadijah, my second-born.

Like her elder sister, she has qualities that would make any father proud.

One day, as I was getting dressed to go out with the kids, I overheard this conversation between the 2 Sitis.

"Aishah, do you know that everything we have is made in China?", Khadijah noted, as she was looking at her new La Senza shoes.

"Even the stuff we bought in Perth, the stuff Tok Ma and Tok Pa gives us from there are all made in China!", her little voiced said with some element of surprise.

She obviously expected stuff she buys in Australia to be made in Ozzieland, and the stuff she bought from La Senza to be made is some non-Asian country.

I clarified to her why this was so, and aked her why she was even bothered by it.

"Its just strange that's all", she quipped.

That was last year when she was 8! She is a very observant girl, and is always on the lookout about money.

She'll always ask me if I'm spending too much on say, a pair of jeans for her sister and herself. Concerned about her family's economics at 8.

Siti Aishah and Siti Khadijah, you are my gems. Not because of your special qualities and traits, just by being yourselves.

Yes, I may be astrounded by your intelligence and maturity but you know what?

I don't need those to remind me that you're special. I love theboth of you very much!

NOTE: God is Great. Today a couple of Narnia tickets landed on my desk. So the girls will get to watch the movie themselves. I have to find someone to watch The Fog with me.

Unconditional Love?

2005-11-30T20:27:00.000+08:00

It has been a year and 13 days since my last entry. I think I owe myself this entry.

Recent, very recent developments in my life has made me all messed up again. Relationships have a place in everybody's lives, but I am so confused about the state of mine, and wether or not I am truly ready to be up for another.

Is there such a thing a conditional love?

Think about it; for you to love someone, you surely expect the person to love you back. Is that not a condition?

You hope that when you do something nice for the other half, they'd be grateful. Even guised as a hope, it IS a condition, because if they don't show appreciation, you'd be hurt... either privately or openly.

We ended our relationship yesterday; "no regrets". But I left wondering if I was ever truly ready for such a commitment after my last divorce.

Why do I wonder that?

Because I know that I was unfair in some ways to her. I was.

Did that stem from my belief that I was ready for love? And did that belief stem from my loneliness?

For sure, she was a special person. She touched my life in a way that it moved the core of my being.

Yet my truthfulness yesterday hurt her. Is that what is supposed to happen?

IF THERE ARE ANY READERS STILL TO THIS DEAD BLOG, PLEASE TALK TO ME...

The Great American Race. Not.

2004-11-17T11:38:00.000+08:00

In my last entry, I mused about how I have an issue with the term African-American. Actually I also take offence to the other racial terminologies used in Stateside, like Asian-American.

What the hey?

Can Malaysians ever go that low and start labeling Chinese as Chinese-Malaysians and Indians as Indian-Malaysians? Will the Ibans be Iban-Malaysian, the Sikhs Sikh-Malaysian? I don't think so.

America prides itself in a lot of things; it wears the tag of Policeman of The World proudly, claims it is The Land of Opportunity. And yet, it cannot give the citizens that were born in the country the rightful label of American.

Simply American.

You can't be a just leader that way. You just can't.

To be a good leader, you must first be a good follower. And if you can't follow the rudiments of sociology, or anything for that matter, how can you lead?

I'd like to see the day that all Americans, irrespective of race, colour or creed, can proudly say "We are Americans'.

I'd love that, but I doubt I'd see the day.

America will be America; they'll label everything from their own point of view.

Ever wondered why the World Series baseball thingamajingy is called such but only contested by Americans?
Go to http://www.baseball-almanac.com/ws/wsmenu.shtml

You'll learn why it is called The World Series, but you'll find little logic in it though. But to the Americans, who needs logic. If you can rule without logic and get away with it, why not?

The Core of The Matter

2004-11-12T12:44:00.000+08:00

I watched The Core for the umpteenth time this morning. Lst night I watched Air Force One, also for the umpteenth time. Yes, I hear you... both American propaganda.

I like The Core, because it deals with something that will happen: the end of the world.

My best friend thinks I've this morbid fascination with death, but the truth is death is a reality. I've had to endure 5 significant deaths in my 35 years of life, the first at 9 years old. My best friend Sheikh Faisal passed on to a gunshot to his head, some 150 metres away from me.

So I learnt quite early on about the harsh reality of life. Faisal's death moved me in two ways.

I learnt the value of a friendship. Faisal and I had become best friends just a few days before his untimely passing. He lived across from our house. To lose a friend is one thing, but to lose a friend you declared as your best, just days fater the dclaration, and to a gunshot, is quite traumatic.

I also learnt, or rather understood, death was a reality.

Both these lessons make a huge part of what I am today. People I've related the story to, and those who are close tome understand.

Anyway, boy did I digress from the intention behind this entry.

The Core is a movie about how the liquid core some 2,000 miles to the centre of the earth stopped spinning. The liquid movement generates electro magnetic energy that gives birds direction, all navigational equipment their true north and basically protects us from the gamma rays of the sun ( I never understood this one, Anyone? Ash?)

But I was inspired to write this entry because of a line from a character I think is the US Secretary of Defence.

The good scientist who discovered the core's inaction and eventual mayhem was presenting to the Pentagon his discovery when the good General asked, "Why did this happen?"

My first thought if I was the scriptwriter would be to retort, " I suppose you don't believe in God then?"

Immediately after thinking of that retort, my mind was swayed to think of a motivational phrase I often use when I try to give inspiration to my 2 daughters, and friends that come to me for some help.

"You fail only when you fail to try."

I was getting a bit confused here; yes I believe in Allah Subhanawataala, and I believe that trying is the only way to avoid a failure, even if your try ends unsuccesfully.

But a little voice within me was saying to the General, "You dare to think that you can overturn God's will?"

God's will...

As Muslims, we are taught to believe in qadha and qadhar, that your life has been laid out quite to a tee by the Almighty (hey that rhymes!).

But we are also taught to never take life too simply that you stop your will to improve. I mean, if you're born into a family that can barely make ends meet, that is not your destiny. That is your challenge; get out of poverty and improve yourself.

But I was confused because we're talking travelling some 2,000 miles into the centre of the earth, using two untested technologies created by an African-American (a term I have a problem with; I'll dedicate an entry to this one later) scientist, to change perhaps what was the end of the world.

Surely you cannot change the end of the world. Would it be tantamount to blasphemy?

One was a laser-like ray that will cut through just about anything. The other was the vessel that the team would be travelling in. The shape reminded me of a spaceship tv series in the 70s and 80s, "Space 1999". (Man that series had us fooled! We're in 2004 and we still cannot live in space like they did in that much-adored series.)

Anyway the vessel was made from a combination of materials which would be strong enough not just to handle the powerful ray to cut through the earth, but also the immense temperature down at the core. They had a nice name for the material: Unobtanium.

Of course, in the end, the Americans were able to solve the problem, although only 2 of the original 6 member team returned to the surface of the earth.

But I am bugged. Bugged by the fact that the Americans think they can do anything. Good and bad. And the good will of course righfully be revered, but the bad will be made to look good.

Cases in point. Vietnam. Cuba. Afghanistan. Iraq. Can you ever justify the deaths in a war? I can't.

In this case, assuming that the event in The Core IS the end of the world, they think they can go one-up on God.

What about the other movie, Air Force One?

Throughout watching it lst night at mom's place, I was actually picturing George W Bush in that situation. All I can say is, it would have been a very, very short movie. Oh, and Harisson Ford would have declined the role.

To all Hindus the world over, have a joyous Deepavali. May the festival of lights shine upon us world peace and properity.

To my fellow Muslims, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin. May Allah bless all Muslims peace and prosperity, and may all that is untruth about Islam be proven so in due course.

35 (add)

2004-10-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

More things over the last wonderful 35 years. I am able to say wonderful because of the great law of averages...

You might have noticed that even what seems like a negative occurence are listed as "achieved". I see them as platforms to achievements really; a failure will remain a failure unless you learn from the setback and turn it into a positive. Turning negatives into positives is a real concept.

* Was player/manager for a soccer club in the Selangor League 3rd Division
* Advanced the club to it's furthest level in the Selangor FA Cup competition, 3rd round just before the quarters
* Went through the trauma of a collapsed lung
* Endured temporary paralysis of the lower body
* Emerged as the fastest pasta eater at a PJ Hilton Pasta Eating Contest
* Am reigning champion because they never had the contest again
* Was the first male cashier for KFC Malaysia (when they went self-service)
* Sat in the actual model of KITT of Knight Rider fame (I have a pix to prove it)
* Drove the phenomenal Audi TT Coupe
* Found my soul-mate, a concept I never believed in until the epiphany came
* Had the thing stuck in my pants' zippers countless times, back in the 1900s
* Had a total stranger came up to me and asked me "what shampoo do you use?". The guy said my hair was too good to be true
* The shampoo was JOHNSON'S BABY SHAMPOO (L.O.L!)

Right. Maybe there'll be another update.

AMIR MAHMOOD RAZAK

35

2004-10-06T01:21:00.001+08:00

You know, a birthday is a birthday is a birthday. Or is it?

I celebrate my 35th birthday today. That's half my mother's age, which means my dad, at about 33, had already had five children. Amazing.

Being a father is one of the best experiences a guy can ever go through. I remember the feeling at the birth of each of my two daughters.

The warmth of their bodies when you first hold them; that innocent look on their faces; the unbelievably small fingers. Looking at that creation of God, in which you had a role in, you're just overcome with a feeling of pure joy.

So what is a birthday really?

To me its a celebration. No... get past the cakes and gifts and well-wishes.

Aptly its a celebration of life. Today I celebrate 35 years of being on the face of the earth, going through the ups and downs, feeling joy and pain and learning from our own and other people's experiences.

What have I done in 35 years?

Quite a lot apparently. This list will be updated as and when I remember. The first list is a result of 20 minutes of thinking:

* Went to various schools to get an education
* Fell in love. Many times
* Secured a job or two throughout the period
* Got married. Twice
* Got divorced. Twice
* Brought children into the world. Twice
* Got punched. Twice
* Won numerous public speaking contests
* Managed a 3rd placing in a school talentime
* Performed at various school functions
* Held certain positions in school
* Fell sick countless times
* Lied several times
* Farted 7 times
* Acted in 20 or so tv dramas
* Appeared in 3 Malay movies
* Listed myself in the Who's Who list of a FINAS book bound for Hollywood
* Offered a role in a Malaysia - HK film JV
* Went to various auditions for advertisements
* Accused of being a "player"
* Appeared as a talent in annual reports and truck brochure
* Wrote countless poems and loveletters
* Got into a car accident 3 times
* Filed a police report against a certain politician
* Filed a police report against a certain ex-boyfriend of a girl I dated
* Filed a police report against a certain ex-wife for husband battery
* Filed two divorce cases although it was the wives who asked for it
* Wrote 2 letters of complaints to organisations that did not deliver the promise
* Wrote many letters to the Letters to the Editor column in NST
* Cleaned up the hawker issue in SS2
* Went to Singapore, Thailand, Brunei, Indonesia, Vietnam, Mexico, USA, England, Australia, Saudi Arabia, Switzerland, Japan, Hong Kong, China
* Detained by immigration authorities in China
* Approached by 3 prostitutes on 3 different occasions
* Offered to attend recording contract audition
* Met, interviewed and befriended Siti Nurhaliza Tarudin
* Met and interviewed Magdalena Maleeva
* Shook hands with 2 Prime Ministers
* Chased by FRU at a football stadium
* Threw a plate of nasi lemak to a friend in school
* Formed the first computer club in school
* Received school colours for Mathematics
* Got caught with prohibited material in school
* Bought a house

There's a lot more I'm sure.

A Tribute to Reed Shamsudin

2004-09-22T23:30:00.000+08:00

I began writing this just before my now ex-colleague Reed Shamsudin left. I've updated the last bits.

To Reed, I hope your new station in life works out for you. I am sure you'll do great.

Blogland,

My office will lose another star by the end of this week, a star by the name of Reed Shamsudin. Reed's leaving ASTRO News, and the broadcasting industry, to move into the print news business.

Reed's resignation is the third in the space of six months for ASTRO News. I don't know about industry averages, but I'd venture to guess that at that rate of departure, we may just be able to rival Chep Lap Kok (forgive the spelling if it's wrong) Airport in Hong Kong!

After Josie Ling left in February, Sherine Ong followed in March. Josie has moved on to bigger things in Bloomberg in Singapore, while Sherine left for beautiful Italy to study the language on a free three-month scholarship.

Like Josie and Sherine's, Reed's departure is also a classic case of one man's loss becoming another man's gain. Although in the case of Sherine, no employer has gained yet. She returned to Malaysia this week and is hunting for employment now.

Before we get to Reed's professional aptitude, I'd like to offer a toast to the man's innate ability to make people laugh.

He's funny without a doubt, and his comedy is usually very, very impromptu and unrehearsed. He has a distinct ability to immediately come up with a funny retort to any incident, scene, sentence... virtually anything! I fancy myself a funny man too, and with Reed around we make quite a funny team.

I remember saying to someone when news of Reed's resignation first broke that the newsroom would be quite quiet. And Reed, it definitely will be. My sparring partner in the world of comedy is no more, sob sob...

I am certain that I speak for the majority when I say that one of the biggest difference without having you in the team would be a quieter newsroom. One with less laughter. If we take that laughter is the best medicine, then we're all in a whole load of shit here, because BOY do we need medication!

Anyway, I digress.

UPDATED HERE>>

Yes, it has been a quiter newsroom since Reed left but we all soldier on.

The last I spoke to Reed, he seems to be doing fine at the new place. He seems settled. Good on you Reed.

Go conquer the world!

Warm regards,

AMIR MAHMOOD RAZAK

I've Missed Blogdom Version II

2004-09-22T23:03:00.000+08:00

Hello there,

To my blog's most avid fan, Sheahnee Lee, my apologies lah for keeping you waiting for my entries. You of all people would be more than aware of my time table.

But things are a bit better now, and I hope for my own sake I can blog with some semblance of regularity. I like to write after all.

The next few entries will seem a bit confusing in terms of timeline. They're actually original entries that I saved as drafts; I've updated them but the core stories will be based on when they were originally began.

Right then, let's start all over again.

Warm regards,
AMIR MAHMOOD RAZAK

I've Missed Blogdom

2004-07-06T09:04:00.000+08:00

Bloggies,

Here I am, back again after a long, long lull, dictated by my body's natural decision to shut-down after abandoning care for the gift from God (to me, of course, not to women LOL).

Anyways, in days to come I shall be writing again. Here's a preview:

# A Tribute To Reed Shamsudin: a colleague leaves, and I consider him the funnier of us. A good journalist, oft misunderstood, with a gift of the gab in certain genres.

# Update on Haza & Am: The Haza & Am saga is updated with a new development.

# Soulmates Are For Real: How I discovered my first-ever soulmate. I never believed in the concept.

So if you want to catch up, join me again soon.

Meanwhile, here's a thought:

"If what you did yesterday seems big, you haven't done anything today."

Warm regards.

Amir Mahmood Razak

Friend, Foe... Oh Fuck It!

2004-06-08T13:21:00.000+08:00

PemBLOG - PemBLOG sekelian,

I had a friend. Had a friend. Had.

Now the friend is a foe, or at least I feel like I'm being treated as a foe. I'm not invited to go out with the group when she's part of the entourage, even to visit an ill friend.

We've gone from being very animated hellos and chats to single-word responses, and now to absolute silence.

My fault? I like someone. And the friend thinks that I'm making a huge mistake by doing so. And does the friend tell me about the reservations? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Tell everyone else but me. Everyone else. Italy's not that far. Tell all and sundry but me.

Wait... did I use the word friend? Isn't a friend supposed to help?

Defined by The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language (4th edition, 2000):

A person whom one knows, likes & trusts.
A person whom one knows: an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause: a comrade.
One who supports, sympthatises with, or patronises a group, cause, or movement.

I knew this friend, I liked this friend, I trusted this friend.
We were acquainted, yes.
We were allied in a struggle and a cause. This friend was indeed a comrade.
We supported each other, we symphatised at each's problems.

Ohh... I get it. Past tense. It's passed.

I wrote a note to this friend once of a saying I read somewhere: "A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out".

I wonder why the friend chose to walk out. If I did something wrong by liking someone, then tell me. We were comrades. Acquaintances.

Actually, I tried to reason with this friend some 3 weeks ago. Then for 2 weeks it remained one-worded responses. Then I gave up trying.

Am I proud of my current stand on the issue? No. I could be a big man if I approach the friend (again) to clear the air (again). I could be a nice man if I let my feelings of being left out and sidelined be disregarded, and continue to befriend the friend.

But I am not doing so.

So kill me already.

Death, Worms & Cyrogenics

2004-06-07T16:45:00.000+08:00

Bloggies,

Here's an article I wrote in October 2002. It deals with that "reality tv" issue. Please lah... is anything ever real on tv anymore, with the exception of ASTRO News....?

DEATH, WORMS & CRYOGENICS

In most religions or cultures, a dead person is buried six feet underground after the last rituals are performed. What happens thereafter is anybody’s guess, but I suppose one thing is for sure; you’d end up becoming a meal for creatures that actually live underground. Worms.

Call me a wimp but I hate worms. Worms are the reason why I never took up fishing, much to the chagrin of my dad, brother and uncle. I mean I know worms, like any other creature has its roles to play, but hey… I don’t need to play the supporting role do I?

So it astounds me to see people actually agreeing to lie in a tub and have what must have been 50 kilos of worms poured over their bodies. The prize? US50,000.

That was on last night’s Fear Factor, another one of many “reality tv” programs that have been churned out by tv-dom in the Land of the Free and the Brave (that’s subject for another day, by the way). Come on? To prove fear is not a factor?

For US50,000 dollars (if you get through the other two stunts), you get to experience what happens six feet underground, after you’re dead and buried. While you are alive!

My guess is that if you die and experience it, the prize would be even greater; you get to meet The Creator himself. Surely you can’t put a price to that?

Think of what you can talk about with Him, questions you can ask!

Like why did He not make the most popular girl in school ever notice you? Or like why did He give Bill Gates the idea for Windows and not you? How come you ended up with a wife that your mother did warn you about? Or why did He ever put the idea of singing into Bjork’s head? And of course, why did the chicken cross the road?

A great man once said two things motivate people. The pursuit of happiness and avoidance of pain. The guys who went through the experience last night felt pain too. “Does it bite”, asks the host. “Yes”, cries the contestant.

Excuse me, but you’re supposed to avoid pain.

That’s the real reason cryogenics were invented. You think the guys who pay an arm and a leg for cryogenics were looking for immortality? Come on. Get serious.

After a few years of high school you think you’ve had enough. After a few years married you wonder why you did it. After three months in a new job you’re looking at options. Get real. All these people who hide behind the immortality excuse just wants to avoid them worms. They don’t want to live forever. After 70 years surely you start to think when’s my time gonna come.

As for me, I’m eight months into my new job now. Let’s see. Have you got the classifieds?

10 Weddings & A Headache

2004-06-07T09:29:00.000+08:00

Bloggies,

I have travelled a fair bit in my 35 years. Crossed the Atlantic, South China, been to countries picking up pieces of war, countries that have moved ahead.

Yet in the countries that I have visited, I have never quite seen marriages being bandied around like a festival. I have seen ceremonies which make the wedding seem like a festival yes... but being touted like a festival? No.

It's school break again, and a week has passed. Wedding invites are the norm around this time. My parents typically receive 10 invites over a two-week school holiday period.

Mind you, the 14 days of freedom for our children mean only two weekends. That's four days, unless of course we have a public holiday during the 14 days.

At 10 invites over 4, the odds of my parents going to each of these invites are drastically reduced. So the plan is if there are date clashes, which inevitably happen, then my parents would go to the ones that only invite them, and one of their offsprings would represent them to invites that are extended to Abdul Razak Bahaman dan keluarga.

But hey, this entry is not about the many wedding invites that we receive (for which we are truly thankful. Amin!).

This entry is about how these lovebirds display their ceremonies at each junction that leads to the location of their festivity.

What's wrong with that, you ask? What's wrong with showing guests where to go and to ensure that they don't get lost?

Nothing wrong, but did I ask you where your wedding was going to be held Mr. John Doe? Did I ask you to show me the way?

Of course not.

Yesterday, at the Kerinchi exit of the Federal Highway towards KL, I saw six placards of wedding directions happily posted on the pole of an unsuspecting road sign.

Six. One above another, some done with creativity and effort that would put some graphic designer in ASTRO to shame.

Each carried two names, obviously of the bride and groom (hmmm... to see one with three or five names would be dandy. "Majlis Perkahwinan Kadir & Rosnah, Noraini, Muzlifah & Kartini". Polygamy!)

Some of the placards have the sticks of bunga manggar pasted on them for distinction.

My point?

First, we have laws in this country. The last time I checked, anyway.

You cannot put public notices of the sort without a permit from the local authority. It has to come with insurance, and if you're tagging on an existing structure, the written permission of the rightful owner of the structure must be presented.

But then again, enforcement in Malaysia is a joke. It's always the tidak apa attitude. Kao tim.

Second, if you didn't invite me then can you PLEASE not tell me where you are going to hold this grand wedding of yours?

As my friend would say, please lah.

You did not invite me (for which I hold no grudges because I don't even know you), and yet you show me the way? Taking this further, let's say you decided not to invite that distant relative Makcik Timah because you hate her guts for telling you off when you dropped out of school to main muzik.

How would she feel if she saw your placard? On the same note, how would your other friends that know of your big day but for some inexplicable reason (to them, that is) never made it to your invite list?

Third, you've already paid an extra 1 sen to the printers to put the bloody map on your perfumed card, so why do you have to put the placard up? Not confident of you mapping abilities?

Fourth, and perhaps finally and more importantly, the shady characters of the society now know that you're getting hitched. The house will be full of well-dressed people bedecked in their finest garb and jewellery.

Great robbery target! You? The unwilling accomplice!

I think all these people that sell their weddings liek a festival should really keep their joy to themselves. Hey, I'm happy you're buying the cow instead of just buying the milk at the corner store, but please.

Leave me out of the festivities. If you want me to attend, then invite me properly.

I don't need another headache. Or another wedding for that matter.

I'm taking this to the Parliament. Maybe they can sort it out.

Of Emotions, Babies & Spilt Food

2004-06-06T06:07:00.000+08:00

60604608am

Blogland,

Are human emotions so complex that it can lead people to:

a) make irrational decisions?
b) not being able to make decisions?

35 years ago, whenever I feel hungry I'd cry and hey presto... next minute I'm sucking a teat. The decision I made? Cry.

So can we say that human emotions are not complex? Well, I guess when you're a baby incapable of doing lots of things yourself, things are a lot less complex than if you were 35 years old and hungry. I'll get back to why being hungry at 35 can be complex in a little while.

First, are things really less complex when you're younger. My guess is hell no!

You cry when you're a hungry baby and in effect what you are doing is transferring the complex decision making process (which includes emotional assessment) to the adults.

Is the baby crying because he is hungry? Is he in pain? If he is in pain, why? Is it colic? Why? Is he in need of a diaper change? If yes and I just changed him 5 minutes ago, is he suffering from diarrhea? If yes, why?

And the emotional decision making process goes on and on. For the baby, he'll just pass the complexity to the adult. This supports my other theory that we actually were born smart, but then get too smart for our own good as we grow older. But that's a topic for a different forum on a different day.

So we can say with conviction then that the human emotion is indeed a complex issue.

But why would being hungry at 35 years of age be a complex issue?

First off, since we have established that the human emotion is indeed complex, and we have suggested that we get too smart (read: dumber) as we grow older, then at 35 anything would be complex! At 53 it would be a catastrophe!

Here, listen.

You're 35, at the office. It's 10:27am and you're hungry. At the same time, you know the cafe is open, and on the menu today are two of your favourite meals.

You are working on an assignment which is due by noon, and the only reason why it's not even half ready yet is because trying to do it meant dealing with a totally different set of complex emotions!

So if you go and have lunch at 10:27am, you could end up:

a) eating alone because everyone else is not hungry
b) running the risk of not completing your assignment, which could affect your promotion and increment
c) having to decide on one of the two meals that is one the menu
d) falling on the way there and break a leg or worse, die
e) choking on the food that you took the time to decide on, and end up a vegetable all your life or worse, choke in front of the girl that you've been trying to impress since the beginning of the year
f) spilling food on your new suit
g) doing the opposite of all of the above

Ho man! Life's tough!

What A Difference A Year Makes...

2004-06-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

Blogdom,

Have you ever noticed that time changes EVERYTHING? Yes, everything.

My friend was telling me a story on how a year ago, at around this time, he was on a delayed honeymoon with his then wife. It was a good honeymoon by most people's standards I think. They had a good rest from their work, they were on an island, they snorkelled for the first time, they ate and ate and ate, had karaoke, read books, made new friends.

A year on, my friend, Am and the now ex-wife are fighting for scraps in the Syariah courts over a marriage that went sour some months ago.

At her wife's request, my friend granted the wife's wish to leave the marriage. It was on a fateful October 13th 2003 when Haza, the wife asked to leave the marriage.

Am's work day ended normally enough. At about 10pm he called home to ask Haza whether she wanted dinner.

Their professional lives really left little time to eat at reasonable hours. It was almost always packed food.

"I feel like KFC, want some?", Am asked.

"I share you punya ajelah okay?", she replied.

And so it was, when Am arrived at their home in a suburb in Selangor, he sat himself down in front of the tv. Haza was on the two-seater sofa, reading.

She sauntered down to the floor, and Am fed her the chicken as he had some himself. They talked about something as they ate, more often than not it would be her day at work, and how disorganised her team was.

After the meal, Am went to the kitchen to clean up. Then he sat himself down on the three-seater sofa across from where Haza sat.

Then he asked her the question that had troubled him over the whole week.

"Are you happy in this marriage Haza?".

She seemed stunned. As usual with Haza, she took a while to respond, and the response was expected.

"Why do you ask?".

Am then related to her incidences that led him to ask the question. Like how she would leave the family hall in the house into the bedroom to go to sleep, without so much as saying goodnight. Or how she would leave their table at a restaurant without telling him, to go shopping.

There was another incident a few weeks earlier. After attending lectures for a part-time course she was signed-up with at a local university, Haza found the front passenger window pane broken.

She promptly called Am to relate the incident. Am was aware that she had to attend an event in Sunway that evening.

"Right, you drive up to Subang where I'll meet you", Am said. "You take my car, and I'll tend to replacing the pane ok?"

Haza agreed. They met at the appointed place, exchanged cars and proceeded to each other's destinations.

"Until today, you have not asked me where i got it done, at what cost and you have not even thanked me", Am said, maintaining calm.

There was a long silence after that, which is typical Haza. Am was quite used to this. He'd wait for a while.

Then he asked, "Why?".

A little more silence then she muttered, "I don't love you anymore".

"And what do you want to do now?", Am asked very calmly, almost knowing the answer, really.

After a short pause, Haza muttered, "I want us to separate amicably".

"And by that you mean divorce?", Am enquired.

Am's question was one of those that you ask out of momentum. Her statement "separate amicably" could only mean one thing.

Haza nodded, the Am stood up, walked across to her and said, "I will grant you the divorce. But please file the papers".

Some three months later Haza still had not filed papers. Am finally did, on the grounds that Haza had verbally asked for the divorce.

On February 16th 2004, Haza and Am were divorced, exactly 2 years and 2 days after they married.

And two months later, Haza filed three separate claims totalling some RM35,000 from Am, including a RM20,000 claim for muta'ah. They've had two arbitration sessions since the claim was filed late April, and another set for June 14th.

So much for love.

That's about all the time I have for tonight. If you want to know more, perhaps I'll write some more as Am relates it to me.

Regards.

Announcing The Arrival Of...

2004-06-02T22:53:00.000+08:00

Dear Fellow Bloggers,

This is it, my maiden entry into blogdom.

After listening to Sheahnee Lee brag about blogs, and listening to her charming friends at Ash's birthday party some weeks ago, here I am venturing into the world of blogs, with trepidation and excitement.

My aim? Just to lend a voice to my thoughts, for the world. I may not write well, but I write to satisfy only me.

If you like it, tell others. If you don't like it, tell me.

Regards.